Dreaming of swinging after lockdown? It’s been a very long lockdown for swingers! And we still have a way to go, but there are lots of things we can be doing right now to help us burst back to life at full speed and without delays just as soon as we legally can! The IGTV video below runs through some, or you can read the translation to text below.
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Preparing to swing after lockdown- spoken words
Getting ready for the post-lockdown life
Hello lovely libertines!
Welcome back. It has been a long time, hasn’t it? It has been a very, very long lockdown here in the UK and we are now finally approaching the point where soon -maybe, hopefully, all being well – we can actually start planning to have some fun!
After so long in hibernation, what we need to do is start preparing ourselves to be ready for when things unlock. We’ve got stuff to do. We’ve got a lot to do in the time now, before we are allowed to go out again. I thought I’d give you a little rundown of some of the things you need to do.
Step 1 Swinging after lockdown: STI Screening test
Firstly, you want to get yourself a sexual health test. You can get these in the post if you’re in London. They come in a plain little bag with a paper box inside, swabs and a little thing to prick your finger. You can get tested for pretty much everything. If you do have symptoms, you should still go to a clinic. The clinics are still open and they will still see you. Even if you’ve not been near anyone for six months it’s quite possible that you have something and just don’t know, because you have no symptoms. So get tested! Now gives you time to get ready, get anything fixed and relaunch yourself. Be a happy, healthy citizen who’s not going to infect any partners.
https://www.shl.uk to order your postal kit if you are in London
Step 2 Swinging after lockdown: Deck yourself out with sexy swinger attire
The second thing you need do is to prepare to signal. In the video above, I’m wearing the little swinger symbol necklace. My one’s sterling silver, but they’ve got loads of different things. They’ve got beach towels, bags, T-shirts, all kinds of things. If you use my little code ALICEHUNTER you’ll get 10% off.
Apart from signaling secretly to other swingers, you need to check that your old lingerie, sexy clothes and kink wear still fit! Whether you have spent a year furloughed and rollerblading, been worked into skeletal shape as a keyworker or survived the pandemic on a solid diet of comfort food and working from home, the chances are your body may look different. Check your clothes still not only fit, but flatter you. Though shops are currently closed, there are plenty of great online boutique sops catering for saucy lingerie, provocative dresses and sexy heels. Make sure your first party doesn’t leave you rummaging in desperation for something to wear that you feel confident in!
Step 3 Swinging after lockdown: Hone your skills and strategy
Another thing you need to do, is you need to brush up again on your skills. Socialising, flirting and pickup are like a muscle that you have to flex regularly. As we are all out of practice now, it’s a great time to go over the theory and re-emerge onto the reborn swing scene as the king or queen of chat-up.
You’ve got my book that you can get, Unicorns and How to Hunt Them: Your Guide to Scoring Threesomes like a Boss and that will save you a lot of time. You can read it in about four hours. It’s not that long. Then you’re not going to spend your time on the sites and going to events striking out because you’re doing things wrong. It’s a great time saver make the most of 2021!
Step 4 Swinging after lockdown: Check whether your condoms have expired!
All your stuff has been sat there and not used for a long time. You need to check your condoms for their expiry date and you need to check your lube. If you want a really nice lube Jo Divine does a couple of brands. One of them is called YES and they’re hypoallergenic. They won’t irritate and they’re water-based, so they’ll work great with condoms.
Step 5 swinging after lockdown: Start rebuilding your social swinger circle
The next thing you need to do get on the sites, start mixing with people again, message the people you used to talk to and find out what’s going on. Start booking yourself some events to go to! The smaller events are really going to depend on people coming forward and booking their tickets in advance. If not you’re going to miss out. They’ll sell out. The events also need to have this impetus to actually book their location and get going.
Lost all your sexy friends? You can update your profile on the swinger apps and start network building again! One of the websites I use is SwingTowns.
We certainly have a lot to do right now to get ourselves ready for the world to reopen! Good luck, sexy swingers!
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