Hosting a swinger party? The bed is the centrepiece that tells your prospective playmates all they need to know about what to expect from your sexual style. A slightly broken single with stains, mismatched pillows and an old sleeping bag doesn’t show someone who values themselves or their sexuality highly. A king-size, with smooth, quality sheets and fresh, fluffy pillows shows a person who’s planned for three. One of the how to host a swinger party series.

Beds range in quality and price significantly. More expensive doesn’t always mean more robust, and there are a number of elements to consider when designing your boudoir.

Where to put your bed when hosting

A bed should always be centred in the room, head against one wall, with the foot facing the door. Room layouts and sizes are not always perfect for making this altar-like arrangement, but you need to make sure it is the main attraction. If there are side tables for holding a lamp with a red lightbulb, and drawers for your condoms and toys, so much the better.

The bed frame

A bed frame is a crucial thing to consider in making your lovemaking room the perfect place. Padded floral headboards don’t scream sex-god, however comfy they might be. A headboard with slats or poles make a handy place to secure a partner with some playful rope bondage, as do foot posts. Most rooms will not have the size and style for a full four poster bed (or indeed the budget) but there are a number of good frames available second hand, or at lower costs for those on a budget. Most places will deliver for assembly if you buy new.

A sturdy bed, preferably without slats that can fall in, and not a weak metal frame – I’ve been on one of those before with more than one person and it bent in the middle and formed a V shape.I was also on my own bed which had slats, they collapsed on one side giving us a very sloping bed. Fortunately I had a spare bedroom and bed so I grabbed him and we moved rooms to continue. He always remembered that, thought it was swell I didn’t care about the broken bed and swiftly moved rooms.

Ms M, sexy swinger

Whether to go for a wooden or metal frame is a matter of personal preference. Whatever you go for needs to be really strong, without squeaky parts. If it moves enough to hit the wall it is going to be noisy, so ensure all the bolts are well tightened and if necessary put something between the frame and wall to avoid comedy sounds and driving your neighbours to ire.

Sex furniture! Liberator. We plan to sell them. And the worst thing is a soft mattress.

Mr P, Sex toy merchant

The mattress for hosting a swinger party

My tip would be to get as firm a mattress as possible.

Ms. L, glamorous kinkster

A mattress should be changed every few years as a matter of hygiene, but a bed that’s used for sex will be exposed to all sorts of fluids which will shorten that unless you use a good mattress protector. Cheap plastic ones rustle and shift- it’s better to spend more and get a high quality one you use all the time. Ensure it is fluid resistant and has a soft top. You can add another washable mattress cover over the top of this to make it softer and more comfortable too. The moment you realise someone is a squirter or has a penchant for facials or anal, you will be very glad you’ve got those layers.

A sprung mattress might seem like a good idea for bounce, but they will often squeak over time, so that is something to bear in mind. A firm foam mattress will be quietest and give you the best surface for frolics.

The sheets fo hosting a swinger party

There is a wide array of choices in style when it comes to sheets. Are you a black silk person? Clean, white linen? A voluptuous deep red?

You’ll want your sheets to match the overall scheme of the room, but florals or batman prints aren’t going to create the kind of sultry impression you want to invoke. If you are hosting, it is worth buying a set (or a few, so you can change them during the party to keep them fresh and dry- nobody likes a soaked bed to play on) and ensuring they are a quality fabric that will stand up to the hottest wash in the laundry. You’ll want to hot wash them for hygiene. If not, you’ll be looking at pre-soaking with disinfectant or bleach, which can leave a smell and change the colours. Expect stains of various kinds- lipstick, fluids, unidentifiable blobs. You’ll want to be able to get rid of them easily so that you can reuse your sheets before the next event.

I’ve given this a lot of thought as I plan on hosting parties at my place and offering my own bed for play. You need a waterproof mattress protector (terry towelling is the best) and on top of that I’ve bought yards of fabric of PU leather that I plan on making a mattress cover with so that the mattress is wipe-clean between use. Have a few soft pillows on the mattress so people can use them for ergonomics and I also plan on having chains ready in place so people can add restraints if they want to.

Violet_Vixen25, party host and dominant

Plain colours work best- black and red are generally the most exciting for setting the mood, though other deep jewel tones can also work well. For party sheets, you really just need an undersheet. Put the duvet away somewhere and make sure your heating is turned up instead if necessary. Whether or not to include pillows is a matter of preference, but if you do, ensure the cases match the sheets or compliment them and that they also have a fluid-resistant case underneath.

The preparation when hosting a swinger party

Ensure you’ve set yourself adequate time to prepare before your event. You’ll have a lot to do preparing yourself and the rest of your house, so you won’t want to start the party tired.

Ensure the sheets you are going to use have been washed and dried in advance. Take a moment to tighten any bolts or screws on the bed that might be coming loose or creating excess movement. Iron the sheet so it is nicely crease-free. If you are not changing the waterproof undersheet, at least vacuum it to get rid of dust and old skin cells, so that it is fresh and clean before you add your sheet. Arrange it so that it is tucked in securely, add the pillows if you are keeping them and put the duvet away in a cupboard. Ensure the surrounding room and bed space is clean, tidy and free of clutter that is not needed for your event. Family photos, curling tongs and other such items can be put away out of sight.

Draw the curtains closed, add your lighting with red bulb lamps, fairy lights or flame-free candles and check that the light is low but not so dark people can’t see. The aim is flattering and sultry, rather than darkness.

Add items near to the bed that people will need. I’d suggest a large bowl of condoms in multiple makes and sizes, with latex-free and vegan options (because everyone should feel welcome) and at least one type of good quality water-based lubricant. In the dark, people might not see if they’ve grabbed an oil based one and that can stop the condoms from working.

You can also add little optional toys. Unless you are planning to dispose of them afterwards, these should be non-genital or sterilisable toys. By sterilisable, I mean soaked in bleach and baked in a hot oven for a few hours (unless you have your own autoclave). This means they will need to be metal or glass. This still leaves you a lot of options, and, of course, people can always bring their own to use. Something like a set of adjustable nipple clamps, some silk scarves, soft rope or a pinwheel make fun items to try out, and don’t need to be frightening for those who are relatively new or vanilla. The items can focus on sense and sensuality, rather than being explicitly sexual. These are low cost items which can easily be replaced. If you are looking for something more expensive and unusual that your guests will be keen to try out, the E-stim (with replaceable pads and attachments) or a violet wand make wonderful additions.

If you are planning to do wax play with soy candles, it is better to set up an area away from the bed, where you can put down large plastic sheeting and ensure there are fire safety measures in place.

Finish off the area by ensuring there is a lined waste-paper basket nearby to dispose of condoms, wet wipes for hands and skin, some tissues and some disinfectant wipes for cleaning off hard surfaces and toys. Breath mints are also a nice touch.

What are your top tips and party bed experiences for hosting a swinger party?