Want to host a party? For anyone who comes to the swing or kink scene and starts attending party events, the idea to host an adult party- whether it is a kink party or a swinger party -will usually arise after a month or so: ‘Hey, I could do this!’ After a few fumbles which may pan out more through luck than design (but usually fail disastrously) the next thought is, ‘Okay, this is more complicated than it looks’.
Little Black Book Party hosting workshops – for those who want to host a party
For those who catch the party hosting bug, there is indeed a heady buzz to be had from setting up and beautifully executing an event, but there is also a steep learning curve. Canapes are one thing, but how do you find guests? How do you make sure they show up? Where on earth makes a good venue to host a kink party or a swinger party? How do you get people playing and not just chatting? How do you run the door and bar? Keep people safe? Get equipment? Ensure hygiene and protection of the premises? Set the mood and ambience? How do you get the right mix of potential play partners together who will enjoy each other’s company? How do you process payment? Being a host is a lot.
How to host a swinger party or kink party
I’ve hosted a handful of small, private events, and written some tips on specific aspects, such as decoration, garden space and getting together a good group. How much more complex then, to be running larger adult parties, and trying to make them break even, if not turn a profit? The wonderful Logan of LBB (Little Black Book) has brought something new to the scene- a training workshop where folks can consider how to set up and run their own parties. Parties of the alternative-lifestyle variety. Kink Parties. Swinger parties. Inclusive parties for those who don’t conform to conventional lifestyle labels. How to host.
What is Little Black Book Party Hosting Workshop?
I attended this how to host a party daytime workshop at The Apple Tree in Clerkenwell, a well-known LGBT-positive space. Upstairs to the private room, we got little name badges and some snacks. The upstairs bar was open throughout for refreshments and Logan took the stage with a microphone, so audibility was good throughout. The room was pretty full, and we were assigned numbers to tables, where we got to mix and mingle with new faces for our workshop teams.
What to think about when hosting your own kink party or swinger party
Far from the nitty-gritty of hiring door staff or location searches, the workshop opened with questions for our groups that were far more fundamental to the ethics of kink party hosting. What makes a good adult party? How do we put these elements in place? How do we navigate our own biases through lived experience to be inclusive and welcoming? How do we ensure consent, when people may be drinking or looking for chemsex? What rules should we set for our own parties we host and how do we monitor and act on these?
What the LBB Party Hosting Workshop was like
The funny thing about the workshop that you didn’t walk out feeling ready to host a swinger event or kink event- you left feeling like you actually had a lot more to consider before you even started, and that’s certainly a good thing. Because the group was such a varied demographic, there was huge opportunity to learn other people’s perspectives and the ways they felt marginalised or discriminated against, and not always in the way that might be expected.
The single guy who felt alienated for being asked to leave a room when his partner left, as though he was a predator. The cis-het white presenting male, who felt anything but, and trying constantly to present a non-threatening image. The ways people felt they had been tokenised or discriminated against due to their race. The barriers (both tangible and social) people experienced due to neurodiversity, disability, age, body type or appearance. The assumptions made about sexuality (including asexuality), kink styles, gender presentation and DS roles.
Overall, it was enlightening, and had a wonderful community feel of humans with such disparate experiences sharing together constructively. Though not a vetted event, there was a lot of the LBB crowd there, who are generally a pretty forward-thinking and inclusive set of people.
What’s next after the Little Black Book Party Hosting Workshop? Want to host a party?
What if you wanted to come out with some directed guidance as to how to put together a BDSM-friendly, swinger-friendly, inclusive party in detail? Well, I have good news for you, my lovely libertines. There are going to be more workshops! Little Black book is hosting another one (and I hope they will be regular!) at a new location. This is definitely the course for those with a dream to host.
How does Little Black Book Party Host Training Stack up?
😊GUESTS ARE APPROACHABLE – THE VIBE IS SUPER-FRIENDLY and a lot of people talked to me before and after the event
😊ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE – though it doesn’t really matter for this event, there were a variety of looks and you can be sure those attending are versed in, and actively learning about, the most important aspects of the kink and swing scene; a definite greEn flag if you wanted to swap numbers and look to date or find yourself a good party partner!
😊 SWINGING FRIENDLY (PROVISION, ATTITUDES) – THough this isn’t a play party, swingers and swing lifestylers are welcome, included and catered for in the discussion. Learning how to host a swinger party is an absolute must in the lifestyle!
😊KINK FRIENDLY – though this would not be a suitable event for kink play, kinksters and bdsm lifestylers are catered for in the discussion. preparing for a kink party is a serious undertaking, so knowing how to host a kink party well is a vital learning curve for anY bdsm enthusiast with a notion to host
😊 TRANS-INCLUSIVE – LBB is very inclusive of any and all gender identities and presentations, and constructive discussion around trans and other gender issues was sensitive, open and aimed at educating through collective group experiences
😊 BODY SHAPE INCLUSIVE – YES, all shapes and sizes are welcome. I did not see any chairs designed for super-plus size, though this is rare at most events
😊 AGE INCLUSIVE – YES, over 18 for the pub and lbb is over 21
😊 RACIALLY INCLUSIVE – This was a very racially diverse event, and LBB really does champion this cause constructively
😊 COUPLES – tickets are sold as individuals, and you will likely get seated away from your partner for the workshop, but no reason couples would be unwelcome
😊SINGLE WOMEN – YES. Women were well respresented here, and given an equal voice. nothing creepy or unsafe going on, was a really safe event looking at making events safe for all
😊 SINGLE GUYS – single guys welcome, no higher ticket prices or special restrictions. Intense cruising would not be expected, but lots of friendly conversation is welcome
😊 AFFORDABLE AND VALUE FOR MONEY- at just £10, this one-of-a-kind workshop delivers incredible value for money. It takes a couple of hours, is held in the daytime, and food and drink prices were reasonable, though the food selection was quite limited that day
😊 SAFE – THERE’s no need to change or leave your bag somewhere, and the crowd was very safe
😊 SPACIOUS – THE room was nicely full but everyone had a seat and good view of the stage
😊 WELL EQUIPPED – chairs, tables, stage, microphone, toilets, bar, name tags, post its, etc. All that you’d need for a workshop.
😊DIFFERENTIAL GENDER PRICING- NO
😊 DIFFERENTIAL COUPLES PRICING- NO
😐ROCK UP LAST MINUTE WITH A FRIEND? it’s a popular ticketed event, and likely to be sold out
😊EASY TO GET A MEMBERSHIP? NONE REQUIRED, it is not a vetted workshop. if you would like to attend an LBB party, however, you’ll need to be vetted. membership is currently not charged
😐TRANSPORT- this event was in Clerkenwell, about 5 or 10 minutes walk from the nearest tube station. the next one is at a new location
☹ DISABLED ACCESS? THe workshop room itself was up 1 flight of stairs with no lift, an issue the organizer acknowledged during discussion about how to make events accessible. The next one should be more accessible, however
Want to join the next Little Black Book party hosting workshop? Contact Little Black Book
*Images are from the event with consent of those featured and remain the copyright property of LBB
This review was written without financial incentive, and Unicornhunting.blog is not affiliated to the event or venue
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