Dick pics- when to send them and how to seduce

Dick pics- Ever wondered whether to send a dick pic? What’s the best way, the best time? How should you pose for a dick pic, who should you send it to and when? Here, we talk about how they are intended, how they are received, the right time to send a dick pic and what you could do instead.

The video here was recorded from an IGTV livestream in April 2021

Dick pics- text from spoken words in the video

Hello lovely libertines!

Tonight we are talking about pictures of this. Dick pics. It is the aubergine. Or, if you are from America, it is the eggplant. Clearly this is not what we are really talking about. We are talking about sending pictures of the more meaty variety. We are talking about when is the best time to send a picture of your wonderful aubergine and how was it received. How was it intended?

Because there’s nothing like a good eggplant (or dick pic) right?

But we’re going to talk about how to send it to the best effect. What you can send instead. When to send it. What you think when you’re sending it.

Why send a dick pic?

Let’s discuss the difference in opinion of how something is sent and how it’s received, because this is going to be a little bit heteronormic. Because I’m a woman, so I perceive it (dick pics) from a woman’s perspective. And I am mostly sent them by cisgender hetero men. But you may have your own perspective on this from a different angle, so please do feel free to share your own experience and how you feel. And if there’s any guys on here, I’m willing to bet that at least once in your life you sent a picture of your eggplant. Well, you might be a little bit shy about that but I’m just guessing it happens.

I’ve been on a bus before, and I saw a 13 year old having a conversation with his friend about this girl he liked. He goes, ‘Oh, I don’t… I don’t know how to make her like me. I’m gonna send her a dick pic,’ and I was just there on the bus like, ‘Oh dude, like seriously, what a bad plan,’ but I was in my vanilla guise, so I couldn’t really say anything. So, my understanding is, and I’ve received thousands (possibly tens of thousands) of dick pics; they come in three main forms.

banana and eggplant on violet surface.  Much nicer than dick pics

The 3 Times women receive dick pics

So you either get sent them as a hello. Hello! Have a look. With no accompanying message or anything. Often by a random stranger you’ve never spoken to, or sometimes by someone you’ve spoken to before and they just pop back up like (dick pic).  That’s one way.

The other way they get received is, you’ll be having like a conversation. Say you’re on a dating app, something like that, and you’re having a chat. ‘Hey! Which part of London do you live?’ and you’re maybe building a little bit of rapport. And they’re cute so you’re talking to them and you’re just sort of trying to figure out if you’ve got anything in common, if they’re worth meeting, and then randomly (dick pic) and then you’re like, ‘Oh okay, it’s like skipped a couple of steps there.’

eggplant vegetable plant lot.  Sometimes dick pics seem to pile up like this

The other way you get sent them is when someone approaches you and you’ve politely declined them.

So, ‘Hey, I followed you to Instagram (from Tinder or twitter or wherever) go out with me or meet me or something,’ and you’re like, ‘Um, thanks but no,’ and you do it politely, because you don’t want to be mean. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But they’ve come to you completely randomly. You don’t know who they are. So you tell them no. That’s the third way you get sent them (dick pics). So most people have a fairly negative association with being sent these randomly.  But there can be ways where you can send them nicely. It’s just it’s skipping a lot of steps. There are ways and means and there’s a suitable time for dick pics.

The best time to send dick pics

Personally, I’d say the best time to send dick pics is when you’ve flirted with someone, you’ve met them you’ve been close with them in the bedroom. And then you’re far away? And you want to message to remind them?  Then it’s hot.

Not just flat out. You sort of chat with them a little bit, flirt, you know, and then you ask them if they want to see it. Now, usually it’s better to be a little bit disguised. So, like in the boxers. In the jeans. Under a sheet. Something like that. So it’s a little bit of a tease, rather than being just a flat out dick pic.

Once you’ve got their consent, then it’s like a nice memory for them. Where they can remember doing that, and then it then is sexy and then it’s fun. Any time other than that it’s a little bit strange to receive. And what do guys think when they’re sending it?

ripe healthy eggplants placed in box in farm.  Much nicer than unsolicited dick pics

Male intent with dick pics

It is probably: let’s say you’re on it on a dating app or a hook-up app or something. And you’re like ‘I’m talking to this person. I don’t want to be friend-zoned. I want to stand out. You know what’s best about me? What’s best about me is this. This is what I have. My dick. Pics of my dick. I’ll send a dick pic. So I’m going to show this and it’s going to be so impressive. I’m going to show it and anyone should be like ‘Wow.’

I think that’s how it’s intended. Like, look at me compared to everybody else! Mine is great! You should meet me. That’s what I’d like to believe. But the way it’s received is really different.

How a dick pic is received

Because it’s almost like if you meet somebody in a bar and you’re having a chat with them and then suddenly they drop their trousers in front of you. And you’re just like, ‘Oh, okay, well this is not a safe person to meet. This is not a person who knows appropriate boundaries. This is not a person who can, you know, work up the flirting in the appropriate way, show me a good evening, show me a good time.’

The best time to see this in real life is obviously once you’ve met. Once you’ve talked, she’s had the time of her life, she’s virtually ready to be done. She’s happy to go home. Then you bring it out. Because if you show it straight away, it says a lot of bad things about you. It says that you think that’s all you are. It says that you don’t know appropriate decorum, that you can’t be a gentleman, and it also says that you think that this is what pleasure is all about. If you’re relying on this and that’s all you’ve got, and you think that’s the thing that’s going to make it good for somebody? It says you’re going to be terrible in the bedroom.

So I would really, really hold back on that one. The other thing is if a woman asks you for this and she hasn’t met you?

yellow banana fruits on brown surface.  Bananas seem more obviously suggestive yet the aubergine or eggplant has taken over, probably thanks to emojis, as representing a dick pic

Should you just send a dick pic when asked?

So say you’re on a dating app. You’re having a chat, whatever. She suddenly wants to see it? She asks for a dick pic? I would be very, very suspicious. There may be a few women who want to do that, but you’ve got to ask yourself:

Am I absolutely sure who I’m talking to? Because this could be a 12 year old kid having a laugh. This could be someone who is a professional blackmailer, who is out to get information on you.  Most women don’t really care that much. They assume you have one, and more or less they’re all the same. We don’t need the dick pics.

You know, putting it next to a stella can or a sky remote control for a size comparison (I’m guessing people don’t have a ruler or maybe you thought that seemed too obvious) it just comes across like that’s what you think is important. And it  really isn’t for nearly everybody. We want the whole package. Not just this package, but the whole package. We want someone who can talk to us and be smart and be funny and be attractive in general. So, there’s a lot of better things you can send than a picture of this (dick pic) because this by itself is not really going to win you that many favours for most people.

orange carrots on table.  Still better than a dick pic

Why aren’t dick pics well received by women

There may be the odd exception, but 999 times out of a thousand? By sending this (dick pics) randomly you’re going to shoot yourself in the foot. It’s just it says you can’t control yourself. And women in general? Anyone they meet walking down the street? We have to be careful about who we meet and who we are in close contact with. Because, truth is, you guys are a risk.

Not everybody. Sure, not every man. But enough. So it is in our mind with anyone we meet as to whether they’re going to be safe. Whether they’re going to be fun. Whether they’re going to be someone we can get on with, or whether they’re going to be someone who doesn’t take no for an answer. Who thinks they’re entitled, because they’re in the mood, that we must do whatever.

crop couple with bunch of roses embracing on street

Better ways to pick up women

And you know, by and large, you guys are bigger than us. If you imagine what that’s like, meeting somebody for the first time every time you go on a date, then you want to imagine what it’s like to try and protect yourself.  So, if you’re showing somebody, ‘I’m in the mood, I’m doing what I want, I’m showing it to you when I want,’ then it doesn’t speak volumes about how good you are at controlling yourself

That’s a real red flag for most women, because we want to have a good time. And if we’re on a hook-up site or a dating site., yes we’re looking to meet. You’re not going to be friend zoned. We’re having a quick chat. We want to see if you’re okay. If you’re not the guy who’s going to do this. We want to see if you’re a good person to meet. If you’re going to be safe to meet. If we’re going to feel empowered, because, ultimately forget 1990s pick up tips of negging and making a woman feel bad.

The way you pick up a woman in real life? And the way you make her have a good time? That’s how you succeed. If you empower the women so they feel safe with you and they feel like they’re who they want to be? They feel like they’re attractive. They feel like they’re empowered, they’re safe, they’re good, then that’s when they’re sexy with you. And that’s something that guys seem to overlook. You’re not going to be friend-zoned for not showing this (dick pic). You just aren’t. You’re both on the site for the same thing, but most women want to meet with someone (however it develops) that they imagine they could see themselves dating as well. So there’s so many better things to show than this (dick pic).

blue denim jeans with yellow banana on top.  Pretty much still more attractive than a dick pic

You could show a picture of you with your pets: dogs, cats, parrots, whatever. A guy who can look after an animal is a really primal attraction. It shows that you have maturity, responsibility, that you’re caring – it shows the softer side.

Other pictures you could show? if you want to really show off your physique? You could go for a gym picture or a sports picture. A picture of you with your friends, a picture of you playing a musical instrument. A guy who has skills is really, really attractive. Not THAT instrument. That, you know, but and like, a nice instrument.

You can also show a picture of you cooking. Show a picture of you reading a book. These are things that will actually make you stand out compared to the other guys, because I can guarantee you for any hundred guys you get messaging (and believe me the second you join a site there’s a hundred guys messaging you) yes, you’ll scroll through.  Think, you know, are they cute? Maybe have a quick look at their profile to see can they can they construct a sentence. Do they seem like they have a bit of wit about them? But most of them are then immediately going to launch into something really graphic, and that’s true of the hook-up sites the polyamory sites, things like that.

crop man with puppy in hands.  So much better than a dick pic.

Does a dick pic help you stand out?

So you’re not going to be friend zoned. You’re not going to be forgotten by being a decent guy and talking to somebody and asking them out nicely. Ask them out as you would on a vanilla site. As if you were on guardian soul mates, or if you were on Tinder, or if you were on something else where you were looking for a long-term relationship. That’s how you want to talk to them. It doesn’t mean that either of you necessarily are. The women just want to pretend, to a level, that it’s a possibility.

They don’t want to be meeting and hooking-up with people who are going to make them feel bad about themselves and degrade their sense of self-worth, or be a risk to them physically. So you can promote yourself the best version of yourself – the gentleman version of yourself – and that does not really involve sending one of these  (dick pic) so save this for after you’ve met her.  After you’ve  blown her socks off, pleasured her in every way, and then you’re apart then you message nicely chat to her ask her. Ask her if she wants to see it. And then you guys can tease in this way. That is the right way to send an aubergine picture.

What if my dick is wonderful?

You may think it’s wonderful, you may think it’s unique, you may think it’s the best in the world, but to your average woman? What she’s going to see first is just that you’ve sent it and everything that means. That you’re possibly a flasher? That you don’t have appropriate boundaries. That you are not a good person to meet.

There is no size or beauty of it, however wonderful you think it is, that is going to overcome that social faux pas. If a woman asks you to see it, be very skeptical as to why. If she hasn’t met you, be very skeptical as to why. On hook-up sites, there are so many pictures of these just as profile pictures that they blur into nothingness. Show something else of yourself and then you stand out on those sites.

A woman’s not going to bother talking to you and carrying on a conversation with you if she doesn’t think that you’re possibly a suitable match. So what you need to do is less of this (dick pic) and more of this (brain) and then you win them over.

ethnic woman in black protective mask.

What should I do to progress things instead?

I had a conversation with a friend the other day. She said, ‘If a guy doesn’t ask to meet in five messages he’s a waste of time,’ and I was like, ‘What?’

Five messages seems really short to me, because I’d want to know a little bit more. But some people agree that that’s correct. So you want to chat a little bit, establish you’re okay and maybe if it’s not directly asked, you want to set up a scenario which she wants to go to something that you’re going to be doing. Don’t send a long pornographic poem. We get those all the time, and they’re so impersonal. But you want to set a scene where she can imagine herself there, having a good time with you.

And then this (dick) is virtually irrelevant. And I know you may think it’s wonderful. You honestly may think it is the best in the world, and who knows, maybe it is?

smiling couple with coffee to go on urban street

Why to avoid the dick pics

The sending a picture of it is going to set you back so far. Just don’t send a picture. It’s like this: ‘Hello, how are you doing? What do you do for work? (dick pic)’


It just it shows you have no game. This is the thing. There’s a pathway of seduction where you have a little casual chit chat, and yeah you don’t want that to go on forever (weeks or months or whatever) because then it shows that you don’t have confidence. Or that you’re just going to want to be a pen pal forever. And women get a lot of that as well, so you want to progress it. But you also don’t want to just chat and then have a video call or something and then instantly be like, ‘Right, I want to do this on video’.

No. You’re going to meet in person. So many guys just want to chat to you and then unburden themselves of all this lust on video. And it’s too soon. You’ve got to build a connection first. Once you have the connection, once you have the trust, then all the wonderful stuff can happen.

photo of people holding hands.  You cant rush trust

Take your time, Casanova

I’m not talking about white picket fences and love and children and things like that. I’m talking about having someone who you can play with in a BDSM sense, who you can swing with. You can explore things with. You’ve got to build that level first, where they know that you’re going to be okay. Where they know that they’re going to be okay with you.

So when you send this (dick pic) you just say you’re not that guy. And it’s a shame, because so many guys seem so promising and then suddenly they’re just like (dick pic). I used to collect pictures of guys who did this. Not in a pervy sense, but I would keep them. And then the next time a guy sent me one, I’d send him one of the last person.

They’d go, ‘eww’ and it’s like, ‘Well, what did you expect my response to be?’

man in white crew neck t shirt playing brown acoustic guitar.  I've cropped it to zoom in on his groin.  That's what we all wanted to see, right?  Not quite dick pics but close.

What to do with a dick pic

I’ve never known really what you’re supposed to say when someone does that. They send it to you like ‘ta-da’ and you’re like, ‘Oh okay.’

I mean, the thing I usually said was, ‘Well, it seems normally shaped and not diseased, so that’s good,’ but apparently that’s not what guys were looking for in a response. I’ve also known people (well, women) who’ve said, ‘Oh my goodness, it’s one from a child! I’m going to report you!’ to try and humiliate them.

I don’t know what the answer is. These days, I just block them and I don’t bother, because I figure nothing’s going to change. But it’s such a shame. Because there are so many women who are looking for great guys, who are positive about the scene and their identity, and want to have fun. And they want someone to have fun with.

And when you just go you shoot yourself in the foot? And it’s like you are doing so well, why did you have to do that? You’ve ruined it now. Now I can’t meet you because I know you’re a creep and a neanderthal who doesn’t have any sense of propriety.

unrecognizable bearded man covering eyes on white background.  Is he embarrassed?  Did he send an unsolicited dick pic?  Let's hope not

What should you do?

Think of it as though  you did it in real life, you met them in a bar and you just dropped your trousers.  Because that is the effect it gives.

There’s an appropriate time and place. Have some respect for yourself. Any woman who asks to see it (pretty much, more or less, correct me if I’m wrong) anyone who asks to see it before they’ve met you? Is disrespecting you.

They’re not going to meet you. They’re laughing at you. They’re seeing what they can get you to do. It’s a power trip. So, don’t disrespect yourself. Don’t give it away so easy boys. Make us work for it.

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