What is hotwifing? The swinging lifestyle has subgroups within it- there are the unicorn hunter couples, looking for a single woman. There are the full-swap swinging couples, out to play with other couples. There are single men, out to sow their oats and there are single women, out to explore their sexual side. One of the longest existing yet widely overlooked sexual play dynamics is hotwifing. Forget the one-penis policy – men into hotwifing love seeing their woman with other guys. How does hotwifing work? What is a cuckold, a stag, a vixen and a bull? What’s in hotwifing for everyone, and how do you get started exploring the hotwifing scene? We talk to Hotwifing.co.uk, who gives us the lowdown on this lifestyle.
What is hotwifing?
Hotwifing is a relationship that a couple have where the female is non-monogamous but the male tends to be monogamous. If the male side of the relationship becomes non-monogamous, this tends to be perceived more as swinging or an open relationship. There are many variations of this type of relationship with the Hotwife/Stag and Vixen, the focus tends to be on the pleasure of the women, which also gives the stag pleasure. More often than not, the stag will be involved in a MFM threesome. However this differs from couple to couple. It’s whatever you want it to be.
What is the difference between cuckolding and a stag/vixen dynamic in hotwifing?
The key difference here is that cuckolds tend to enjoy humiliation or domationation by a superior alpha male. Whereas with stag and Vixen, it’s about mutual pleasure, The stag with take pleasure from seeing his vixen pleasured in a way that puts her at the center of desire and attention.
What kinds of people are drawn to hotwifing?
This question can be very difficult to answer. Although there are not hard and fast rules about the type of person who will be attracted to the lifestyle, they do tend to be more couples who have been together for a long time and are secure in their relationship. They have a level of trust between them that allows them to enjoy the lifestyle and remain forever bonded to each other.
For me it’s about worshipping and seeing her in that super sexual light that puts a little extra spice into the relationship as a whole. More specifically, I also enjoy worshipping her body after she’s been with other men both as a statement of reclaiming her and as a man loving his wife. On the other hand, she gets off on me being with other women mainly in two ways. She gets off being humiliated most, me being with other women and has even paid for prostitutes, women she finds stunning, to be even more humiliated in the fetish. That’s the cuck side.
But on the other hand she also likes to let me sleep with others as a form of relaxation similar to going out with friends for a drink and with a partner who’s okay being friends and having sex. With one trusted partner she fulfilled the fantasy of sucking me clean of her p*ssy juices when I came home or even on some occasions was tied up and used to lube my dick and her p*ssy so we could f*ck in front of her and she couldn’t even touch herself until I said she could. I would make a point that this is from my perspective, and that everyone has their own dynamic, even couples who play together in this dynamic might see it differently – Mr C (stag and husband of a cuckqueen)
Hotwifing: How easy is it to get started? Who is welcome?
The Hotwifing lifestyle is open to all who dare to embark on the journey although it is not for all. Many find the reality of the fantasy to be emotionally overwhelming and may find themselves unprepared. It’s very important not to rush into the lifestyle but to take it slowly over time at a rate that you are comfortable with. Build up to it and see how it makes you feel.
Are there any special terms or rules people should know before they start hotwifing? What is the etiquette?
Always respect the dynamic of the couple. Although the intent is for all to have pleasure, as a third you need to be aware and insure that the couple have been together for a long time. It’s about mutual respect and having a good time. If you agree to join then change your mind, that’s ok. Just make sure you let people know upfront. There is nothing wrong with changing your mind. Make sure you all meet and talk to understand the dynamic and what every wants to get out of it. Everyone is different and have their own things they like or what to get out of it.
How did hotwifing.co.uk get started? Are you into hotwifing yourselves?
Yes we are. The reason we started this website was because after many years of burying our sexual desires, we finally spoke about them. Afterwards, I started to search for like-minded people. Although there are many different sites all over the world for various different kinks, I was unable to find one specific for the stag and vixen lifestyle in the uk. There are a few cuckold and many swinger sites. After using a few of them, we wanted a place where couples could meet and chat about experiences. We wanted a place that wasn’t sleazy and plastered with pornographic adverts. A place where people were just normal. And we wanted a place where only people from the UK could join.
We could not find anything that met these requirements, so we started Hotwifing.co.uk. We have try to set the tone and feel so far we have done well. Don’t get me wrong you will get the odd dick pic from a guy who thinks he’s god’s gift and yes you will see many pictures of Hotwives at their best, but there is something you will get that you don’t always find on other sites. You will get normal people conversing. This desire to find a place to tick all our boxes plus the fact that I am a software engineer was a perfect combination to allow us to create Hotwifing.co.uk
To me, it’s the idea of having my cock caged so even if I wanted to pleasure myself I couldn’t. So all I can do is give pleasure and being able to watch someone have sex is obviously a turn on, so it makes it more exciting and licking p*ssy is something I really enjoy – Mr CC (cuckold)
Your site is free to sign up to – how is it supported? What do the premium options offer you for hotwifing?
Yes, our site is free to sign up. You can do almost anything, however a few features are limited. This was done purely to support the community. The cost of upgrading your account is only £2 per month. This goes towards keeping the site running. A few of the premium options are; unlimited private messaging, advert-free browsing and the ability to post third-party social network links. For example, your KIK username.
How useful is the hotwifing members map you have on your site?
The members map allows you to filter based on what you are looking for. Then you can check in your area. It gives you an overview of the users near you and shows their profile information. This is useful to help users engage with the right people.
What’s in the future for the website? How do you see the future of hotwifing in the UK developing in coming years?
According to google trend data we have seen a large jump in interest over the last 10 years. Our website will continue to develop features to ensure not only user safety but an overall great experience. For many years there has been somewhat of a double standard when it comes to threesomes. While for men having two women has been somewhat socially acceptable, the MMF remains somewhat of a taboo. We feel that times are changing and this view is dated and incorrect.
I’ve signed up to hotwifing.co.uk and made myself a profile. What should I do to get the most from the site and find other hotwife members who are like minded?
When first joining the site it’s important to make sure your profile has been completed – think of it as a chance to express yourself. Why are you here? What lead you here? How long have you been in the lifestyle? You need to get your personality across in order to be able to make a connection with the right people. Once your profile is complete then look around, comment on posts, or search and join one of our many spaces. Spaces are grouped for people to create or join. They tend to be specific to, for example, local spaces, etc.
I suppose from my point of view it’s the fact she’s able to be satisfied in ways that I can’t possibly give to her, allows her to be free and keeps us happy in a relationship as I can’t possibly give to her what she wants sexually – Mr B (Cuckold)
Where can people sign up or follow you on social media?
Anyone can sign up for free by visiting our website https://www.hotwifing.co.uk
you can also follow us on twitter @hotwifing
or on Instagram hotwifinglifestyle
Want to learn a little hotwife terminology? Take a look at the brief glossary below: Stag, vixen, cuckold, bull, cuckqueen- and talk like an experienced hotwifing lifestyler.
To participate in a hotwife sexual relationship
A married woman who has sex with other men, with her husband’s approval. For the cuckold hotwife, she will usually be dominant over her husband for the context of hotwifing sexual play, and may select her own partners, tease or humiliate her cuckold husband before, during or after sexual hotwifing play. This may include things like allowing her cuckold to watch her get ready for a date with another man, sending photos or other teases. The vixen hotwife is slightly different.
Female counterpart to the ‘stag’ in a hotwife couple. Synonymous with hotwife. She may be submissive, equal or dominant to her stag husband in the context of hotwifing play. She does not create any elements of humiliation for her partner, and her role is to be sexual with other men to make her stag husband proud and aroused.
Male counterpart to vixen in a hotwife couple. The stag identifies as a dominant man who enjoys watching his wife/female partner have sex with other men, either alone or with him present. He may select the ‘bulls’ or other men for the vixen, and may or may not participate in MMF play. Unlike cuckolding, there is no element of humiliation. Seeing his wife with other men makes the stag feel proud and aroused.
The bull is a single male brought in as a third. He is there for sexual purposes of the hotwifing couple, to create a dynamic. In a cuckold scene, the bull will often be selected for being tall, attractive, muscular, well-endowed or more sexually talented than the cuckold. The bull may or may not be involved in verbal humiliation or dominance play over the cuckold male. There may or may not be aspects of MMF or forced-bi play.
The bull is a tool for this submission/dominance play, and may be a stranger or sex worker, or may be a regular play partner. In a stag/vixen dynamic, the bull will play sexually with the vixen but does not participate in humiliating the stag. He serves as a tool to allow the stag to feel a sense of prowess and alpha-male dominance at having such a sexual and desirable wife. He may be a sex worker, stranger or ongoing play partner. MMF may or may not be involved.
Sometimes the term ‘black bull’ is used and signifies an element of racial play. In this case, the (usually caucasian) couple will recruit a black man to be the bull for the hotwifing sexual play.
I just enjoyed it at the time. Was in my late 20’s and lived alone. Met a married woman online and it started. She kind of introduced me to a married woman’s club or something. They would call me and I would go. Some were very enjoyable, some not so much. My issue or talent was that I would not cum and they loved it. I could go on. I loved the fact that I could make some of them orgasm and they confided that they hadn’t had one in the act for a long time, or never. That really gave me a kick. I started loving going down and appreciated the vagina more.
I still love going down. My fav’ part. Why I kept at it? As these women were mostly attached, they would move on. I was left to figure out the next weekend’s sex. That kept me going. I was later introduced to threesomes and orgies. Some I sought myself to see what my limits are. What excited me and what didn’t. What’s my kind of woman, etc. I always went in with an open mind, especially when it comes to threesomes or cuckold relationships, then tried to engage and judge what was going on with the couples.
Sometimes the man is a bi or gay person and I had to set boundaries up front. I don’t mind touching, etc. but penetrating was a nono (both ways). Sometimes the person just enjoys watching and lets us have our way. Sometimes the man instructs. I go with the flow. ‘Till I have an erection I did not have a problem. But I could always gauge if the woman was not having fun and that’s where I would draw the line- Mr L (Bull)
The male partner of a hotwifing couple, for whom humiliation and degradation are an integral part of the eroticism of this form of hotwifing play. The cuckold may or may not be forced or allowed to watch her have sex with other men, prepare to go on dates with them or be involved physically in MMF play including elements such as service, forced-bi play or certain sexual acts such as cream pie.
Arousal, for the cuckold man, is tied inextricably to feelings of humiliation, inadequacy, being unworthy and inferior. Inferior to both his sexy wife, and the alpha-male bull she will have sex with. He feels proud and lucky to have such an attractive wife that others want to have sex with. Ultimately, cuckold dynamics are not always a 24/7 lifestyle arrangement. Occasional experimentation with these dynamics or restriction to sexual play is common. Cuckold men may be dominant, equal or submissive in other aspects of their relationship, or in other forms of sexual play with their partner.
The female equivalent of a cuckold. This rarer arrangement occurs when the female half of the couple is aroused by the humiliation stemming from seeing her male partner or husband with other women. Unlike cheating, this is an active choice and the cuckqueen encourages her husband to be sexually intimate with other women, or sometimes with other men or non-binary persons.
I haven’t heard of another word for a cuckqueen- but I think they definitely get off on seeing their partner. But I see it as really empowering. She is strong, confident, enough to let her partner go off and have fun. Plus she gets really turned on by it. Yes, hotwifing definitely covers both cuckold and stag/vixen. So sometimes you would be at an event and see some guys in cock cages and the lady with the key around their neck. So I imagine for guys it’s important to know they dynamics as they are so different. One guy so dominant but gets off on his wife, where in the other situation the wife is more dominant and will belittle her husband – Mrs T (vixen)
The male-male-female threesome, also known as a MFM or devil’s threesome. In this scenario, there are two men and one women involved in sexual play together. Usually, a ‘straight’ MMF will involve the attentions of both men solely on the woman, however in a bi threesome the men will also be involved in sexual play with each other. This can vary from light touching and kissing to oral or penetrative sex, depending on the wishes of all parties concerned.
This term is initially worrying as it sounds like consent violation, however it is fully consensual. Forced-bi is the mutually agreed form of sexual or BDSM play in which a man engages in some type of sexual contact or acts on (or with) another man, because he is directed to do so by a woman. Entering into an arrangement of forced-bi can be very freeing for men, due to the historic stigma of bisexuality in men and the way sexual contact with another man can be perceived in terms of one’s identity. They are not performing oral on another man because they ‘want to’ and facing the consequences of judgement or self-doubt that might involve- they are doing it purely to please the woman and amuse or arouse her. Forced-bi can also be used to heighten the sense of humiliation cuckolds feel, thereby making the experience more satisfying for them.
I had a stag/vixen relationship with a FB for a year and a half, thereabouts, and some cuckolding experiences. The stag/vixen dynamic was very interesting though, as my FB is bi so the experiences of me being with men he also thought were hot, and seeing me have fun with these men, turned him on a lot. We would attend parties together and seeing him with other women also turned me on so much. I also had this feeling of pride seeing him with other women- Maebabe (vixen)
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*Images used in this article are property of hotwifing.co.uk or are free-to-use images from Pexels, and are used to illustrate mood and emotion. The models are not necessarily involved in this lifestyle, and the original images created were not necessarily intended to depict it.