How to be a swinger woman: power or stigma?

Are you a sexual woman? A swinger woman? In an age of new female sexual liberation, are women taking back their feminine power in their own eyes, and the eyes of men?  Or was granny onto something all along- that when you explore your sexuality as a woman, you will be judged for it by the opposite sex?

Are a swinger man and a swinger woman seen the same way?

Is there still a double standard?  Have male opinions finally moved on?  Or are we deluding ourselves, and still victims of a deep-seated hypocrisy that logic can destroy but ingrained attitudes keep alive?

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A little straw poll of 4 men and 4 women on the swing scene set out to find out whether the rhetoric of female empowerment via sexual liberation was really holding true.


Do women feel empowered by being part of the swing scene? 3/4


Do men have a positive view of swinger women as people? 3.5/4


Do the single swinger women feel respected? 2/4


Do men understand a swinger woman’s motives? 3/4


Do hook ups feel empowering for a swinger woman? 2/4


Is a swinger woman still marriage material?  4/4


Are the swinger women happy as swingers? 2.5/4


Do men and women have the same goals on the swing scene? 3/4

What does our swinger poll tell us about attitudes and the gender divide?

A little poll like this really doesn’t show anything very much, and undoubtedly there are plenty of examples of less enlightened attitudes around, ready to fill your inbox with evidence.  There can often be a change in perspective for the women over time, altering from a feeling of empowerment to one of being misunderstood and considered degraded in the eyes of menfolk, including those who do exactly the same things.

A story from a swinger woman:

When I joined the scene, I thought it was this amazing place where men and women who have the same ideal would have a great time fucking, getting to know each other and just enjoying everything that being sexually liberated and free had to offer.  It matched me perfectly and I was hoping to maybe find my man in the scene… someone with similar ideals to me. 

I guess a lot of single women go in thinking that,.  Single men seem to go in to play a game of how many times they can get their dick wet.  And then you talk about that dreaded F word… FEELINGS.  So you meet a single guy, have an amazing connection, and AMAZING sex, and then you catch the F word.  Then you find out that they actually aren’t single, or that they are not looking for more.  It sucks that men can be very blasé with sex and women can’t unless they turn cold and heartless. 

I often feel embarrassed about talking to men about my conquests because even in this world I wonder if there is such a thing as ‘too much’, where a woman crosses the line from being sexually liberated and fun to a slut.  So I keep quieter, and don’t say as much about them.  Guys never have that issue…in the swing world or the real one.

Lady N, 20’s, single girl.

Can swinger women be respected and empowered?

So what is the answer?  Do women do whatever they wish without heed of male opinion?  Is it even possible to be so personally confident and unaffected in even the smallest way by a barrage of constant assumption?  And do men still have some work to do in whittling out and fixing their own prejudice, where they are unaware it exists?

Tell me your thoughts, my baby ducklings, because if there is an answer I fear we are still a few years away from it.  xxx

*Poll contributions by Lady Rope, Miss Roxette, Lola, Miss Moon, Mr. F, Mr. Aussie, Mr. J and Mr. Casanova.

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