Naked Interview with an online male sex worker

A male tongue and teeth exposed in red light with beard and tattoos- our online male sexworker poses

The world of the online sexworker has often been viewed as one of easy money. It’s seen as accessible- little investment, and, almost always in the minds of the general public, exclusively occupied by pretty young women. What is the reality for an online sexworker who is a man? How does an online male sex worker make money, in a world where almost all the customers are men? What does an online sexworker actually do, and why do people pay to connect to someone they will never meet in person? Welcome to our latest naked interview, with a male online sex worker.

Man with tattoos and beard poses in front of chequered tiles in black and white- our online male sex worker
How would you describe the job you do?  Are you a professional sexter? A male sex worker?

Sexting is a custom service I provide as part of my job as an online sex worker.  I have an Onlyfans, which is a subscription-based social media platform. I post self-made pornography and some general social media type stuff.  It’s very interactive so I get to know my subscribers. It’s very useful for both sides; they can tell me what they like or not, and what they want to see more of.   They can also pay me in the form of tips, and I make custom videos and photographs. 

How did you get started as a male sex worker?

I divorced last year. I had gotten a little overweight and thought it had been a partial cause for the breakdown, so in an attempt to save the marriage I went to the gym and ate healthily.  In three or so years I’d become quite toned, but the marriage still failed.  Confidence in shreds but feeling good about finally having some pecs, I put myself on a rate-me subreddit, just hoping for genuine insight before I embarrassed myself on Tinder and got a wholly unexpectedly positive response.  It wasn’t viral exactly – Reddit doesn’t really work like that. For a couple of days the post kind of blew up. Suddenly, I was being contacted by all sorts of people and I think that was when it started.

tattooed bearded online male sexworker sits at his laptop to work
What happened next?

It became apparent that I like to be admired by strangers. My narcissistic side feeds on all the attention.  I developed a knack for sexting, roleplay and general online flirting. In the divorce I’d lost my home and my ex-wife got custody of the children.  I have a day job that’s reasonably well paid, I cleared my debt and am now saving again for a deposit on a new home, but my day job pay means saving will take a long time. I also now have a girlfriend who is recently out of work due to Covid, so could use some additional income.

We had joked about the amount of great sex we have and had often hinted at setting up an OF so we could get paid to do what we were already doing. I set up the Onlyfans one day and my partner said no! I had misread the situation and she didn’t want to do it.  When asked if she’d mind me doing it alone, she said it was cool, so I started uploading solo content and directing people in my DMs to it. She now helps out and occasionally participates anonymously.

MAle online sex worker poses in underwear in black and white with torso showing
What attributes do you think it is important to have for a man to be successful working Onlyfans as a male sex worker?

Honesty, self-awareness and an open mind. You have to be honest about who is paying, self-aware about who you are, who you appeal to and how others see you. For every thousand men paying for porn, there may only be one paying woman.  You simply will not get enough subscribers if you are straight and expect to get by on female subs.  It’s sadly just unrealistic no matter who you are.  Brad Pitt would struggle. So, however you approach it, you have to be marketing primarily to men. If you are uncomfortable with men looking at and paying you, then honestly don’t even bother. That said, a straight male can absolutely be successful, either by way of recording sex adventures with lots of different female partners or being a straight guy doing ‘gay for pay’.

male online sexworker with tattoos poses for a shot lying on the bed with torso exposed
What kind of people come to you to use your services as an online male sexworker?

All sorts, I have a very diverse audience.   The biggest demographic, around 50% subscribing to me, is submissive gay males.  The rest are made up of other gay or bisexual men, a handful of women and those who identify as non-binary.  Interestingly, I have a number of trans, non binary and gender fluid subscribers, possibly because I am openly omnisexual. I am clear about my attraction to androgyny and cater content for many of their potential interests, but do not focus solely on, fetishise or deride them with insulting language, such as is used on porn sites.  I think word of mouth has played some part in it too.  

What kind of services do you offer as an online male sexworker?  What do you not?

I primarily upload pornographic content to my page, which people pay a monthly subscription of around £10 to access.  A great analogy is that it’s like the door fee in a strip club. They gain entry, can interact with my posts, leave comments, vote on polls, etc. and they can also direct message me. For many people this is enough.  It’s more interactive and personal than the free tidbits of porn you find online. The subscribers have input and a voice there, which they don’t get elsewhere.  It’s much more intimate and less objectifying. They can leave tips on posts they like and, of course, tippers get more attention and special treats.

Subscribers can direct message me for a chat or to ask for private services. It’s good manners to tip me first if they want to chat, and buying custom content is a bit like paying for a lap dance.  The private services I offer are varied. Most common are requests for custom content.  

tattooed male torso and underwear in red light
What kinds of custom content do you do as an online male sex worker?

Someone may want me to masturbate and talk dirty to the camera using their name. Do a self-facial, roll and smoke a joint in the buff, perform oral on my girlfriend. May want me to create a guided masturbation or JOI video. They may want to imagine they’re having sex with me from my girlfriend’s point of view. They send me underwear, swimwear or sex toys to model, or buy underwear they’ve seen me wear in content. Want specific ASMR, or someone may want to see me take a shower, cook or work out in the nude.  It can be all manner of things and not always sexual.

Can you give an example?

I have one subscriber who pays for custom videos exclusively of me doing day to day things with my soft penis on show. The great thing is, it’s my body and my rules.  If I’m not comfortable with the request I can politely decline or suggest something I am more comfortable with. I offer paid dick, titty, ass and pussy rates. Unsolicited dick pics online is a huge issue.  I won’t go in to the psychology of it here, as it’s a conversation in its own right.  But by offering a paid service to look at and provide feedback on a person’s genitals, that person gets to show off their pride and joy without causing anyone offence or crossing any boundaries.  

male online sexworker poses for a photo with tattooed torso and neck showing, arms behind head
Why do people want to post their genitals?

In an attempt to create an outlet, there are subreddits dedicated to posting your penis, breasts, bottom or vagina for rating. But dick and vagina rate subreddits get swamped and your dick gets lost in a sea of other dicks and then you get no feedback. Some people like to be humiliated, some people want to hear how great it is and some want genuine, honest feedback.  I usually establish this in the initial conversation or try to have an awareness of their kinks beforehand. I can put notes next to people’s names or add them to kink-specific lists.  

For example, I have a trans male subscriber who has had both top and bottom surgery and we have gone into great lengths comparing penises and the differences and similarities between them.  I’m not a doctor or an expert, just a cis guy with a penis.  He can just have an honest and completely open comparative chat with someone, without fear of ridicule, judgement or gossip. We’ve never met in person I don’t know his friends or family so there is no risk of embarrassment. He can answer questions a little more confidently and has a better understanding of how his post-op body compares to that of a cis man, but I have learned probably more from him and his journey than him from me, to be honest. 

Tattooed torso and lower face of male online sex worker wearing necklace
What about your sexting service?

Sexting and boyfriend experience is something I also do. People pay for my time sexting.  You can find people online to sext with if you know where to look, but there are so many catfish, creeps and scammers. Quite often, someone will say or do something that spooks you or they ask too many personal questions. It’s a bit of a minefield.  Some people really want to sext but don’t have the time, patience or energy to deal with trying to find a good partner.  They may just want a digital booty call, and don’t want to spend 7 hours trying to find someone to snap with, find a hottie…. only to get ghosted or find out it’s a troll called Chuck screenshotting everything in his mum’s basement.

By coming to me, they know it’s me they’re talking to. I’m verified, they know I know what I’m doing and can lead the session if needed, as well as book a time or go pretty much straight away if I’m free. I offer a boyfriend experience too, which is more of an all-day thing and has a lot more ground rules for obvious reasons. It’s usually less overtly sexual and just more like a comforting and flirtatious connection.  

Why do people use the sexting service?

People have many reasons for being lonely and this can offer some respite and comfort from a cute person.  During lockdown I did it a couple of times and the feedback I got was genuinely quite touching. I do not do meets in person, If I were to do meets in the future, it would strictly be with other content creators to collaborate. I also usually decline live webcam stuff as I prefer having the time and space to plan, frame, light my content and retake if needed.

tattooed male online sex worker poses for a selfie
What are your ambitions from online male sexwork in a year, or 10 years time?

I am doing this primarily because I enjoy it but of course I am monetising what I do. I am saving to buy a house and helping to financially support my girlfriend.  In ten years, who knows!   I’m learning so much and things are evolving so quickly and organically. I’m just going with the flow.

Any funny stories or things you’ve learned from being an online male sex worker?

I have learned so much about myself, my own sexuality and the sexuality and desires, drives and needs of others.  It’s something I needed, to be able to help separate physical and emotional needs.   I have a far better and clearer understanding of sex, love, f*cking, flirting… before they were all a bit of a mish-mash and I have been in sexually dysfunctional relationships as a result. Things are just so much clearer to me now.  I wish I’d been this confident and been exposed to online sex work 20 years ago. I could have avoided a lot of hard lessons.

What would you advise people who want to follow in your footsteps doing online male sexwork?

Do some research and reach out to other sex workers.  Be realistic about how much work it is. Onlyfans takes 20% of whatever money you make through them, but they also offer a referral programme so as an example: I could give a sign-up link and earn 5%. OF gets the remaining 15%- it then becomes in my interest for you to do well, so I would offer support and advice.  There are a few high-profile creators who offer this as a service.  That’s one way to do it.  But definitely get on to the support groups, perhaps subscribe to one or two pages for a short while to get a feel for what others are doing, because other creators are a goldmine of information and ideas.

Face of online male sexworker brunette with beard and tattoos wearing necklace, facial shot
What do you think people misunderstand most about the nature of your business in online male sexwork?

That it’s a quick buck. Honestly, you get out what you put in.  It’s work at the end of the day.  You can’t expect to just upload videos of yourself w*nking and pull in $3000 per month.  There is content creation, curating, editing, marketing, promotion, customer service, networking… all have to be done.  If you want full-time money you need to do full-time work and be able to learn fast.

What do you love best about doing what you do as an online male sex worker?

I have a massive kink for being lusted after. I really like being complimented and flirted with by everyone and really get off on people masturbating to me.  So in that sense, it suits me right down to the ground. My sex drive is unusually high, I’m not sure if I’m a sex addict exactly, but it offers an outlet for that and it means I can flirt and be outrageous and slutty without jeopardising my relationship or safety.  And I’ve learned so much!  About other people, but also more importantly about myself. I also like putting some good energy out in the world.  Sure, sex is the main part, but it’s not all been about smut. I have genuinely helped people who had body worries, or provided some support or affection to people who really needed it at difficult times.

online male sexworker poses in bed showing bearded face and tattoos
Can you give an example of how things work with a customer when they approach you as an online male sexworker?

Customers generally approach me. Often new clients don’t know how to ask for what they want so a price list or menu is sent to them upon sign-up.  Occasionally while talking in DM’s I might offer them a video or photos of what we’ve been talking about and offer a price.  I make the content and send it to them, they then unlock it by paying the agreed price. Sexting is paid for as a tip. I may then give them my private snapchat, have a quick chat about what they would like to get from the session, how long they have paid for and establish ground rules…  then the fun begins.

Do you have loyal customers or do they change all the time?

I have a mix, several very loyal and lovely fans.  Many people will pass through, stay for a while and move on. Some stay completely anonymous and quiet, just lurking in the background. Never interacting, but never leave.  There is no wrong or right way to be a subscriber. Some people are shy, some people are bold. Some just want to see my penis, get off and move on to another creator, while others might want to actually form a friendship and I’m the only one they follow.  If someone is paying for my time, they have my attention regardless of how long they’ve followed.  But, of course, it is a business, so tippers get to the front of the queue. 

Do you ever get gifts?  What’s the most you’ve made in an hour as an online male sexworker?  

I have received underwear and sex toys to my PO box from subscribers. I am not Cardi B, so I think the most I’ve made in an hour is around $100.

If you started all over knowing what you know now, would you do anything differently?

It’s been a learning journey, I haven’t made any terrible mistakes to regret so no, I like how it’s gone.

Do you feel people treat you respectfully as an online male sexworker? 

On Onlyfans everyone has been lovely so far. I have a zero-tolerance to anyone being disrespectful to me or anyone else.  My page is my house and I will drop someone immediately without a second thought if they dared step out of line, but that’s never happened yet.  People there have sought me out and paid money to be there. It’s clear in my bio that I’m a lefty snowflake and so are most of my subs.  Trolling is pointless: they’re outnumbered and will be out of pocket if I boot them. Outside of OF I have come across all manner of interactions.   

What sort of issues do you face?

I find many of the common issues in being contacted by randoms. Usually women experience these things far more than men, but my appeal is very broad so I get the whole gamut. Usually it’s because people see someone they think is attractive and want to interact.  Nothing wrong with that if they’re enquiring, but it’s frustrating for me if they don’t bother to check my profile and just say hi or start sending me pictures.  Usually I find people want to flirt, sext and exchange pictures with me for free.  The assumption is that because I am a male I must “want” or be “grateful” that anyone would be paying me attention and I should be glad they want to send or see images.  I generally either ignore or direct people to my bio before continuing to converse.

Is there a difference between how men and women behave towards you as an online male sex worker?

Indignant men will usually hurl an insult and disappear.  Women are often a little more cautious in their approach, but they are not immune or exempt from poor online etiquette. The main difference is that women tend to put more focus on my sexuality.

There is a gross misconception that bi, pan or omni males are attracted to literally everyone humanoid and are the thirstiest of the thirsty. So biphobia or fetishisation from cis women can occasionally be an issue. I am often approached by those who fantasise about MFM threesomes but I don’t do meets and these conversations often start based on the assumption I’m automatically already up for it regardless of who anyone is.

What do you do?

This can be tricky ground to call out because if you view yourself a certain way (say, as progressive and woke) and suddenly find out your conduct has been called out in contradiction to that self-image, people tend to lash out. Women are more used to being the ones calling out bad e-behaviour than the perpetrators, so their reactions can be more extreme.

What are the secrets of being a great sexter- could you teach a small lesson on it for beginners?

I’d say the secret is to enjoy it and leave your self-consciousness at the door, it’s a roleplay, a game. If you’re worried you’re going to get it wrong the whole time it sort of defeats the point. It literally reminds me of being a kid playing with my friends and our action toys (You be the bad guy, and I’ll be the hero in the flying car.) Depending on who you’re sexting with, you can be you and I can be me and we tease each other with what we’d like to do to each other.

How real is it?

It can be very real and we can send each other pictures and videos.   Or you can be a sexy green elf with dildos for ears riding in the huge vagina of a T-rex, about to be dipped in honey and thrown to the lesbians.  It’s a completely safe place to explore fantasies, however realistic or imaginative.  So long as you set the scene before you start and make sure you state any boundaries you won’t cross. For me, I make it clear: no children, animals, or poop.   I think sexting is something you either enjoy or don’t. If you do, it’s just a case of getting comfy and having fun, and you’ll inevitably get better at it.  

Do you think there is an emotional attachment that your customers develop for you as an online male sexworker or is it always just transactional?

I have had a subscriber who started to become a little infatuated.  It was a shame because we did get on well and he was a great tipper, but he started to lose sight of the nature of our association and I had to block him.  It felt cruel but ultimately it would be entirely irresponsible of me to continue taking his money.

How naughty do your texts get as an online male sex worker?

Again, depends on the person, sometimes… ok usually, very.   I would love to create a book one day made entirely from the anonymous transcripts between sexts.  I might talk through a scenario of very real sex I have actually had from memory with details about the sight, sound, smell and tastes. Creating and setting a scene, and using words to describe feelings and the environment.  The things I’d like to do with the person and what I find attractive about them.  How their breasts look in the soft light in their pictures, or how cute their smile is.

Or it could be a slew of dominating and humiliating texts, mocking their ugly little micropenis and comparing it to my beautiful huge cock that they’ll never get to touch. Each sext session is very different from the next, depending on many factors. The most important thing is to know from the client where they want it to go and to pay attention to their responses, so you can keep it on track and not just go off on a tangent. 

What social media do you use to promote your work as an online male sex worker?

Instagram @we_do_insta

Reddit we_do

Search Onlyfans for We_do_premium

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*Photos used with permission of and remain property of the interviewee

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