Occasionally in life, one comes across someone who strikes a chord- seems a kindred spirit- echoes aspects of our lives back at us and we just KNOW that any statement we make or question we ask them requires no caveats or explanations. Women who write about sex in any capacity, and especially about swinging, have a certain shared bond – a lived experience as to the nature of the reality, juxtaposed to the high ideals we seek to manifest into the world. With no further ado, let’s get naked with ThisKindaGirl, a rising star of sex-positive swing scene blogging, swinger advice and all-round champion of hedonistic living.

How do you describe what you do?

I aim to educate, inspire, and share my swinger knowledge with people. I want to teach people how to be smart, sexy, swingers, regardless of their sexuality, gender or relationship status.

Where does the name come from?

I’m not entirely sure, I think it came about when I was having a conversation about what I like sexually. I said, ‘I’m that kinda girl’ and when I came to start my blog, the name resurfaced.

When did you start writing the blog?

I started in May of 2020

What do you eventually hope to achieve with it?

To be the leading voice of swinging and female positive swinging in the UK and then Europe

How has the response been from people?

Positive! I love it when people get in touch to ask me for advice, or to tell me thanks for starting my blog, or ask me to collaborate with them. Yes, I have experienced several USDP’s, (but that comes with the territory)

Do you feel 2020 has affected how the swinging scene will be in the future? How?

There has been a rise in virtual swinging, and more people heading online to find fellow swingers as they can’t rely on using swinger clubs. I think there are a lot of frustrated people out there too!

Which events do you like best?

I like both intimate gatherings and glamorous swinger parties- especially those with a BDSM style dungeon.

What are some funny stories from the scene or lessons you have learned since you started?

Hmm…well I would not call this a funny story, but I did learn from it. I was once playing with a couple and we were having a great intimate time together when suddenly the lady squirted all over us… now I don’t mind squirting, but in that setting it wasn’t appropriate, as the ‘bed’ was pvc so it ran everywhere, plus I was still wearing my dress as it was towards the start of the evening. I remember it soaked my dress and I really didn’t appreciate it. Lesson to be learnt; If you squirt, make sure you tell people as once it’s happened there’s not much you can do about it! I suppose I/we should have discussed that first!

What advice do you have for men, women and couples on the swing scene?

Communication is key! Whether that’s between you and your partner or people you wish to play with… oh and always reconnect after swinging. Sorry that’s two…

You are starting a podcast- what will it be about and how can people hear it?

My podcast will be about my adventures in the world of swinging. It will be a mix of real-life experiences, topics to be discussed, reviews, and advice, I will be joined by others in the scene!

Where can people see your work and contact you?

On my site, thiskindagirl.com by emailing contact@thiskindagirl and across social media!

When men and couples want to get your attention (as I’m sure they do) what would you like them to know?

Men- I’m not for sale, and couples- don’t worry, I understand how you are feeling.

Have you written on other topics previously?

Nope!

Which are your favourite articles that you’ve done?

Oooh that’s a good one. How to host a swinger party was a great one and 15 things you need to know before starting swinging was also a great one and the first article I did on ‘how to start swinging’ was also good as I really went in depth on the science behind why we do what we do and what love really is.

Do you write for other places?

I am also a swinging advice expert for a company called CouplePlayBox

Will you be doing a book?

Sure, why not!

Which other writers and sites do you like best?

So, I follow a content creator called darkshadequeen, her podcasts are great! Unicorn hunting blog is awesome as is swinger symbol. Can I also give a shout out to @miss_indescretion on Instagram!

Do you have video or a youtube channel?

I do indeed – its thiskindagirl2020

How do you think sex positive women are perceived and do you think it’s changing with time?

The facts speak for themselves. We now have female only ‘members’ clubs and female-led swingers clubs. The fact that clubs are taking this approach means they are gaining a better understanding of what swingers and sex-positive females want. To be surrounded by like-minded, sex-positive females. I feel that in the last few years the image of sex-positive women has changed. Confident, sexually active, and sexually bold women are replacing the stereotype of a woman with an unhealthy attachment to her vibrator.

What are the important ethical issues that the swing scene most needs to face in the UK?

At the minute, keeping people safe from more than STI’s is on everyone’s minds. Providing a safe environment, free from covid is proving exceedingly difficult indeed. But it must be addressed and solutions found. People still want to swing, so the clubs and those involved in the scene must make it possible.

Do you plan to start running events in the future? What will they be like?

I certainly do. They will be for both first time couples and experienced swingers. And will combine both fine dining and the swinger experience for a night of pure decadence and pleasure. I’m also going to be starting a first-time swingers consultancy service, because everyone’s situation is different.

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