What is a clone-a-willy?
The Clone-a-willy (mine was from UberKinky) is a kit you can order to make an accurate replica of your favourite penis. It comes with a bag of powder to mix with warm water, a spatula, thermometer to get the water temperature right, set of instructions, tube for the mould, 2 pots of fluid you mix to set into silicone, and, in the case of the glow-in-the-dark kit, a sachet of powder to mix with your silicone to give a phosphorescent greenish glow that can be charged up with light. It also comes with a bullet vibrator to set inside the willy replica, so your new home-made dildo can send good vibes all round.
Why get a clone-a-willy?
In my case, the clone-a-willy idea came up for 2 reasons. Firstly, in a chat with my wonderfully entertaining housemate, the notion was raised when she told a joke. She said she saw a reddit, where a woman had written ‘I found my dildo in my teenage daughter’s room. I don’t know which is worse, that she is taking her mother’s sex toys to explore with, or that it’s her dad’s clone-a-willy!’
I then had a chat with a friend online, who was, for some reason, feeling insecure about his own size. Being a supportive soul, I told him that his was wonderful, if I had one I’d want one just like his, and that in fact I’d order a clone-a-willy kit to duplicate his penis, put it in a harness and wear it as a strapon.
We later had a little falling out on unrelated matters, but the kit was ordered so I decided to recruit a willing volunteer to help me instead. Fortunately, a handsome, well-hung Italian friend volunteered, and my lovely female friend (who’s birthday was this week) seized the opportunity to help out too, as the ‘fluffer’.
This seemed like a mellow and fun way to start re-socialising again as lockdown gradually relaxes, so we arranged a time, I read the instructions and the plan was hatched!
How to make a clone a willy?
The first thing you need to do is buy a kit. I got mine from Uberkinky, and it arrived in discrete packaging, with the credit card deduction under an innocuous business name. You can order different varieties too. There is the regular kit, the glow in the dark kit (which I got) and they make it in a straight or curved kit. I had bought the straight kit, which just about worked for my lovely Italian model, although it had a slight natural twist to it, and anyone who is on the more bent-banana side would probably benefit from buying the curved kit.
The instructions lay out all the steps for you, and it became clear that this wouldn’t be a quick or simple endeavor. The first step is to get your model hard, then trim the tube length. Having done so, the edges are quite sharp and sellotape is used around the rim to protect from nasty accidents.
The kit recommends using a penis pump, which I brought with me, however these devices tend to have a rather short lived effect, and my female friend was certainly indispensable in getting the model to the edge and keeping him there while I rapidly mixed the powder once the water had cooled to exactly the right temperature, always noting the very specific timings for each stage (which are given in seconds) and prepared him to be plunged into the look warm goo in the tube. A fair bit fell out on the floor, and he had to bend himself down while it set for 2 minutes around him, trying to keep as big as possible with the help of a vibrating butt plug, some happy thoughts, porn playing in the background and a feel of our exposed breasts to help matters along.
Once set, he had to pull out and go clean himself up, while the ladies scurried around trying to clear it off the floor and out the bowl before everything set hard.
There was then a minimum of a 4 hour wait before the next step, so we had dinner and drinks.
The clone-a-willy was purchased from Uberkinky, a sex and kink toy store that delivers to the UK. The box it arrives in is plain (for the nosey neighbours) and the company on the credit card statement sounds innocuous (for the nosey wife).
Playing mad scientist with the clone-a-willy
Mixing the silicone and glowing powder seemed simple enough, but again it was measured in seconds to get the mix right and the lids were hard to get off. We poured it into the mould, but our model was on the girthy and slightly-above average size, so there wasn’t enough to do the whole length with one kit.
Fortunately, he already had another glow in the dark kit that he’s bought with him (we had had a notion that we might make two, but given the complexity we decided against it) so he rapidly mixed up the silicone and powder from his kit to top it up rather than miss out on his last inch. The vibrating bullet is then suspended from a cardboard square and pushed into the top of the mix. There definitely wouldn’t be enough silicone if you tried to skip the vibrator. All set, we then had to wait 24 hours to see if our frankenstein-dick had worked.
The results of the clone-a-willy
Once set, we cut off the plastic tube and the outer mould peeled off quite easily as it was soft and rubbery. Inside, our new silicone penis remained! The level of detail was pretty amazing, although the mould seemed to have collapsed in length (though not width) a little while setting, and the natural upward curve of the real thing had converted to a downward curve instead- whether this was from having to push it down or the difficulty in maintaining oneself fully erect in lukewarm sludge while feeling rather exposed, and in a situation that was more hilarious and embarrassing than wildly erotic, I’m not sure.
There was a bit of a flare at the base, which I’d hoped to set as the anchor for a metal ring to put into a strapon harness, but it was too flexible. There also seemed to be a firmer ring a little way up- I’m not sure whether that was from the mould itself of the rubber cockring he was wearing to try to stay hard for his modelling debut. That higher ring would work fine for a metal ring (if only I had one in the right size! His girthy nature means mine don’t quite fit over) but then there is an inch or so of projection behind it, once you include the necessary space for the vibrator to put batteries in and turn on and off.
Most of the silicone was firmly set, with a beautiful even glow, however there were a couple of parts from the second mix (which was done rather hurriedly) that didn’t set firm, and left a few bubbles or patches of incredibly sticky, clear goo, that never set at all. These could probably be teased out with a needle and a great deal of patience and detergent.
Was the clone-a-willy worth it?
My female friend and myself were rather impressed with the results, though the shape did not end up being an exact replica. It had lost a little length in the process, and the natural twist was slightly different. To use it to tickle the G spot best, it would now need to be used upside down (no great difficulty there).
My lovely model seemed quite entertained by the result. I told him that he’d get sexual credit for everyone I used it on (like some sort of game of sexual conkers, maybe) although it’s girthiness and firmness made it quite a foreboding prospect. My female friend commented that she had no idea how she’d got the real thing into her throat, so perhaps the extra firmness and lack of flexibility make the clone-a-willy replica feel less like the real thing than it otherwise might.
To use it in a strapon harness, the best option is probably to set it into a vacu-lock, which would secure it given the projecting nature of the base. The fact it glows in the dark beautifully should not only make me stand out in the dimly-lit ambiance of the sex parties I might attend with it, but make it a darn sight easier to find afterwards if I take it off in what are usually piles of (slightly damp) black lingerie that amass at the sides of beds or play spaces in such situations, and usually lead to everyone accidentally going home in each other’s knickers.
What is the clone-a-willy good for?
Considering the price (over £30, and depending on which kit you choose, and you might need 2 kits unless it’s a tiddler) and the time investment to make it, the clone a willy doesn’t come out as great value for money compared to buying a perfect, pre-made vibrating dildo, or to use in a strapon. Is that what it’s all about though? No! of course not. Here are some great reasons you might want to try a clone-a-willy:
-To make a replica of your beloved’s sex parts for when they are away and you miss them
-As a vernal Spring celebration, and secular form of phallus worship
-So you can do your sexual partner in the butt or mouth with their own dick (gotta say, this notion really appeals to me, and is probably a great way to stop them asking you for anal or deepthroat if you aren’t up for it)
-If your partner likes the idea of their penis being used remotely on others (maybe it still counts as notches on their bedpost?)
-So your model/partner can actually see their own penis the way others see it, rather than always looking down on it- to hold it and see the girth, detail and (possibly, though not so much in this case) shape.
-As an entertaining, silly and hilarious thing to do with friends.
-As an icebreaker to start of physical touch and merriment at the beginning of a swinger dinner or small sex party
Things to prepare for with the clone-a-willy kit
– Check the shape and size of your penis model before you begin, and buy a kit that is for a curved penis if need be.
-If your penis model is over about 5 inches or of reasonable thickness, be prepared to have 2 kits or to lose an inch off the base.
-There will be mess on the floor. Choose your location wisely and have paper towels and soapy water and sponges ready to use.
-You’ll need scissors, tape, disposable mixing bowls and a measuring jug
-You will need to get your model very hard at least twice, and on the second time keep him there under some very sub-optimal conditions. Make sure you have a model with good stamina, and bring out any sex toy or situation that’s going to help. It isn’t easy!
-The eventual shape may not be a great replica of the real thing. It loses some length as the mould sets and the twists or bends may not come out quite the same
-It takes a long time. Be sure you have prepared for a 4 hour wait to pour the silicone, and 24 hours for it to set afterwards in a place it can just be left to stand
-It is easier with at least 3 people- the scientist (to mix and time), the model, and someone to get and keep the model fully aroused without tipping them over the edge. A perfect MFF threesome!
Have you tried a clone a willy kit? How did yours come out?
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