The Importance of Masturbation as Self-Care

By Brandy Clark

We welcome our latest sex-positive woman writer to Brandy Clark! She’s here to tell us why our self-care should always include masturbation.

Red fingernails touching a flower.  Representing masturbation and the importance for self care

Many of us struggled with the challenges of the pandemic and quarantine, but I’m willing to guess there’s one thing you spent more time doing than before March 2020. Maybe you started talking about it more with friends or even sharing in online communities. We all know I’m not talking about baking fresh loaves of bread…

For many, the quarantine of 2020 was a time of self-discovery and self-love. Whether you had more time to develop this connection with yourself and your desires, or it was a new adventure for you, I’m willing to bet there’s now at least one sex toy in your nightstand.

I even heard some expressing concern that they were devoting too much time to this act of self-care — and really, self-care is exactly what it is. I’m not going to tell you all the health benefits of sex and masturbation, there are myriad other places to read up on those. What about the ideas that your newfound (or renewed) habit of masturbation has led you to?

Maybe You Learned Something

Hands down (in your pants if you wish), one of the biggest perks of masturbating is learning what you enjoy. If you don’t know what you like, you can’t guide a partner to rock your world. But masturbation goes beyond discovering your personal pleasures. You may have realized that the casual hook-up really can just be to feel good, and there needn’t be the stigma that still exists. Sex and dating can be mutually exclusive. Maybe you’re curious about ethical non-monogamy? Or exploring a new kink that you didn’t realize you might be into? Side note: the kink community is extremely welcoming and if there’s something you’re into, there will be someone else who enjoys it, as well.

Masturbation – A Simple Self-Care Practice

As the world continues opening up, there is no reason that you need to reduce or quit masturbating. Instead, use this opportunity to feel empowered in your choices, solo or with a partner(s). Discussions about self-love and self-care became more open during quarantine, but don’t forget — it was really common before. Just because dating is slowly becoming an option again, doesn’t mean you have to rely on a partner to get what you need.

Just like brushing your teeth, taking a shower, or preparing food, masturbation can — should, even — become part of your self-care routine. Provided it doesn’t get in the way of your responsibilities or relationships, there’s no such thing as “too much” masturbation. The myths you may have heard are exactly that — myths.

A bag full of vibrators and sex toys.  Does your self care include masturbation?

It’s a Guy Thing

Masturbation fits any gender and any orientation. There are no rules to making yourself feel good. It’s often implied that masturbation, particularly when it’s “excessive,” is a common single male practice. Many married folx, particularly female-identifying, state they are happier when they masturbate regularly.

Be Safe

This might not be the time to play with choking or other breath-play, or other potentially hazardous experiences. If you decide to explore further within hookup culture, ENM, or venture into the open arms — and bedrooms — of the kink community, it’s important to respect your boundaries.

Stepping outside of your comfort zone should never make you feel unsafe. Protecting yourself physically and emotionally is a crucial part of keeping your sexual escapades fun, whether you’re playing solo, with a partner, or with multiple partners.

Be Your Own Lover

Have fun, explore your desires, and discover more about your sexy self. Anyone who judges probably just needs to get a little more of their own needs taken care of. Happy climaxing!

Images from Unsplash

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