Interview with Miss Paradise, 32, open-minded female
Would you describe yourself as a unicorn?
I don’t know what to call myself. I’m very open, I’m a slow burner as well. I know what I like when I like it, so it could be anything, it could be dominating men, it could be playing with girls, playing with couples, a single guy, it could be having a playmate which is what I’ve got now. I’ve been playing with someone for over a year.
Do you guys pick up single girls together or do you just play together with your playmate?
Um, he is open to that but he doesn’t come out -he’s not on any scene, but he’s open. He knows that I dominate, he knows I play with girls, he knows that I’m out on the scene, but that’s not his priority at the moment. He’s open for me to bring girls back if he wants, but we haven’t done it. We’re exploring and I’ve opened him up to BDSM, so me and him are connecting on that level at the moment. I don’t know, I have been a unicorn. I was a unicorn when I first came on the scene, because I felt like I was getting the best of both worlds, as getting male and a female and I can also come away from it- I wasn’t going to get any emotional bullshit attached to that because they’ve got their thing, so I can go in and I can play – we can all sort of play and use each other and I can walk away and it’s just left there. So yeah, I played with a few couples in the past was which I’ve enjoyed. In fact some of my best experiences have been with couples and the dynamics of that have been different.
What would make you choose a couple, because obviously there’s a lot of couples who are seeking a unicorn?
The female for me has to be into women properly – not just doing it please your partner or ‘I’m straight but I do it, it’s for fun.’’ It has to feel organic, because that puts me off if I don’t get that feeling, because then it just makes it more intense. Puts me off if the female just doing it to please the husband ‘cause then it becomes all about him and not about the three of us. I like when the male takes a step back and appreciates the two girls together and he’s quite respectful about it- it’s not like I said before, it’s not all about him. It’s quite an equal dynamic, but I’ve had threesomes which have totally not worked. I actually fell asleep! Funny story – I was 20 I think. I was 20, 21; I was swinging then. Like, sleeping around and swapping partners and things, and I was seeing a guy on and off and we were very sexual- that’s all it was and then then there was a girl that I started having a bit of a thing with. And me and her went out one night and we bumped into this guy and he invited us back to his house. I got a feeling that he was more into her than me, so they were getting it on and I could just see it and feel the vibes, so I just kind of…. we’d been smoking weed and stuff as well, but I just kind of sloped off and fell asleep on the side of the bed. They’re trying to nudge me, but I just wasn’t having any of it. So eventually, after a few more times of those two hooking up, they ended up seeing each other for about 8 or 9 months or something like that. So that was it that wasn’t a great dynamic. I kind of got pushed out so I fell asleep. I’ll always remember that because he always mentions it. Fell asleep- sorry.
It just panned out that way. But then there was another dynamic with the same guy, who was with an ex-girlfriend. Me and her were in the pub together and he came to pick me up and me and her were kissing he was like “oh that’s how it is is it?”
So we went back to his and he wasn’t interested in her, he was interested in seeing me and her together and then he wanted to sleep with me, but she was more interested in him than me, so it was a bit of a strange dynamic. That didn’t feel right- it was a bit strange. Because I remember getting up- we’d made a sort of bed in the front room and I remember getting up to get some water or go to the toilet. I came back, and she was sort of trying to give him a blowjob or something. I could tell it wasn’t quite there. As soon as I came by he was on me, and then she was kind of ‘Oh I wasn’t interested in you, I want him,’ so that was a strange dynamic.
Have you had many times when a couple has approached you together?
I’ve had that a lot at KK, because I’m all over the forum. I get couples a lot, because I’ve actually put on my profile, ‘Interested in everybody’. Any request will be considered really. So, a lot. I do get them, but most of the time I find when they kik me it’s mainly the man rather than the girl. So he’s the driving force and he’s picking who he wants for those two, rather than it being the female – which I don’t think is a bad thing, because generally it’s either one or the other that instigates it. At a KK a party I’ve been approached by couples and I’ve had fun with couples before. In fact I went back with a couple- I went to a couple’s penthouse party and I was approached by the female and he was there- he watched us and then they invited me back and I ended up staying with them and we all ended up playing. I was the centre of attention actually -they were both pleasuring me, which is quite nice. It was kind of all about me- I was at the centre. I’ve never experienced that before. Then the female; she was like, II am tired now, I’m going to go to sleep,’ and I was I was in bed with in the middle of them and me and him- he was like, cuddling me. So me and him end up going the front room and playing together without her, which I felt a bit bad about but I thought, ‘Well we’ve all come back together,’ and then I ended up staying the next day. We ended up eating pizza in bed and listening to music- it was really bizarre. I’ve never done that before, but at least there was this three-way kind of intense thing that we had for a couple of days. I’ve stayed friends with her but not with him, because he kept on trying to meet me on on it on his own and I said, ‘Well I’m going to not come to meet you, I’m coming to meet a couple,’ and I messaged her to let her know. I just said, ‘Look, he’s trying to meet me,’ because I’m- I am a girl’s girl, I take the girls side more than the guy’s, even if the girl’s is a little bit in the wrong, it’s still…. I’m more of a girl’s girl – so. She didn’t know that he was doing that- he didn’t tell her. But yeah, I’ve stayed friends with her- she’s an escort actually, this girl. Yes she’s cool. I haven’t spoken to her recently. So that was a nice time dynamic. I would actually like to experience that again, where I’m the centre of attention.
If a couple was going to approach you, what advice would you give them?
Have a general chit chat. Not let it be based around sex and ‘come and meet us in a hotel and see where things..’ I don’t like that approach – ‘well let’s meet up and see if the chemistry is there,’ because instantly they’re basically saying, ‘let’s meet up for sex.’
Get to know me and have an experience, rather than just a fuck to tick a fantasy off their list, which is what I don’t want to be, unless I’m in that right frame of mind, I’ve met up with them and it feels right to become that fantasy. Then fair enough, but straight away if you’ve never met, have a little bit of a chit chat. There’s been a couple of couples that said ‘can we take you out for dinner, can we get to know you better,’ That I like, because they’ve offered to take me out, in a normal, neutral place. They’ve not offered to come round to see me, or go to their house or hotel room- and just to sit and have a chit-chat over food. I think that’s very normal. I kind of like the normal approach, and I can kind of gauge where they’re coming from and and what they would like. Then if anyone feels uncomfortable you can leave as well, because it’s a bar or restaurant or whatever. I like that approach and that is what I would advise: to meet up. Because everybody has to feel comfortable.
Is there anything people have done, where they have really ruined their chances?
I have a message in my phone. There’s a couple I was chatting to, and then I’ve been busy so I haven’t responded to them and they kept putting question marks, and ‘Hi?’ I’m busy, you’re not on the top of my list. Then I got a message saying ‘Hi, can we meet and fuck?’ I put ‘fuck off -worst approach ever. Never have I been so turned off. My vagina has sealed itself up.’
Then he put ‘It was a joke, because you never respond.’ Then I put ‘I’m going to block you,’ the other person put ‘cool.’ I put, ‘I don’t respond because I’m NOT INTERESTED.’ Then I left it. They’re pesty anyway. So that is not a good a good way to catch my good side. ‘Can we meet up and fuck?’ No. No we can’t.
Have you ever had a situation where you found yourself becoming more emotionally involved with one or both of a couple than you planned to be when you first met with them?
No, I’ve never. I’ve never gone that far. I’ve never done that for with anyone actually with swinging. You create sort of feelings, but not in that light. I want to be with someone, but when you get to know someone you like them, don’t you? You think, ‘I really like that person,’ but actual emotions like that, no. I can’t do that. I detach myself because I see it as just swinging.
Do you think any women in a couple should ever be worried about you going off with her husband after, or be jealous of you being involved, or made insecure in any way?
I don’t think they should be jealous. If there’s something wrong in their relationship then there would be reason to be jealous of anyone, or if they’ve got issues and insecurities that they’ve not to come to terms with or dealt with, then they shouldn’t be swinging like that. So no, because I wouldn’t take somebody’s husband or the other way around, I wouldn’t go off with the wife. It’s just they’re a couple, we’ve agreed to play together and that’s what it is. I see it for what it is.
Do you often find it’s the woman or the man that’s more attractive in the couple, or is it a mixture? Do you need to be very attracted to both of them?
It has to be a mix. I have to be attracted to both but it doesn’t mean necessarily mean physically. I’m attracted to people’s energy, so if they’ve both got good energy and they are reasonably attractive, and if there’s a connection, then yeah that’s what I’m attracted to.
What’s the best pick-up line you’ve had from a couple?
Do you want to fuck? Ha ha. ‘Can we take you out for dinner and get to know you?’ I really like because it was just nice- you know, it was like straight away they wanted to sort of make me feel good. They wanted to do something for me, so that’s what I thought. That was quite nice.
So you say you’ve moved away from being with couples. What was it in your mind or in your life that you feel took you away from being a unicorn to wanting something different?
Because I’ve been playing with somebody for over a year and I’m quite happy having penetrative sex with him. So yeah, I’m quite happy just playing with him at the moment. I don’t see myself as 100% single anymore so that’s why. If I ended up being 100% single again then yeah, I will definitely go back to being open to playing with them.
Have you had any couples approach you to just play with one of the two? Or any times where you wanted one and not the other?
This takes it a little bit away from swinging. I’ve been asked to dominate a guy who’s in a couple, but the female of the couple is a bit funny about him being dominated by another woman as it’s normally her so, we’ve been talking about it. Then he came up with ‘what if you double dommed with her, on me?’ I said ‘well you’ve approached me,’ and I like his partner but I don’t feel any connection with her whatsoever. There’s nothing – she feels flat to me. I don’t feel her energy at all. There’s nothing there. So how’s that going to work, because how am I going to vibe off you in that situation? So I am more attracted to him than her. That’s a situation I’ve never really had. There’s normally always something about one and the other that makes itself up. But becomes all rounded. So yeah, that’s it at the moment. I had a message a couple of days ago actually so I just said ‘oh, I don’t know, you’ll have to open it up with her see what she thinks and then take it from there.’
How do you feel about the couple or the woman setting down ground rules for you?
I try and understand where people are coming from and if that’s their approach- if that’s where they’re at at that moment, that that’s their next step, to allow this to happen, because maybe they might be breaking into being completely open with each other. So sometimes I quite like the rules because then you know where you stand. If there’s no rules and it’s a brand new couple and you say- I don’t know- so I gave the guy blowjob or kissed him properly, and she’s like ‘Whoa, that made me feel really uncomfortable,’ then it can change. But if they specifically say, ‘Right, well he can’t kiss you and you can’t finger his bum and they are the rules,’ then you know where you stand. I don’t mind rules, I’m easy either side really. If it’s a new couple then sometimes it’s better if they do have a few guidelines within their dynamic, because then no one’s going to kick off or the female’s not going to meltdown and start crying, or he’s not gonna go weird.
Have you had any cases where that happened?
I can’t quite remember what happened but there was one occasion where the woman went a bit funny with me, and it was her idea! But I can’t quite remember the exact details of it. I do remember something of the woman being really funny, so yeah, maybe once.
Is there anything else you think people who are seeking a unicorn should know?
You’ve got to know the Unicorn- just get to know them a little bit. Find out what their experiences are: find out what they’re into and then you can build a better dynamic, especially if you’re thinking about seeing somebody on a regular basis. It’s as well to get to know them. Don’t assume that you are just going to meet up and fuck- that it’s just going to be like this amazing threesome and everyone’s gonna have an amazing time. That will only happen if you if you talk and you get to feel each other out. That’s my advice: get to know her and be interested in her rather than just her pussy.