Want to know what the secret is to being a great party partner that all the women will ask to accompany them the swinger parties, sex-positive events and kink parties over and over? It’s really simple. Here’s a step by step breakdown to help you stand out above all the other guys– whatever your look, budget or aspirations.

1. KISS: Keep it simple, stupid

When a woman asks you to attend an event with her, there are really only two possible answers. She will send you the link or information, which will contain every detail you might need about timings, attire, and what to expect. The best answer, having read this is:

-‘Sure, what time shall I pick you up?’

The second acceptable answer is

-‘Sorry, I can’t make it. Let’s do something together on (whatever day)…’

The first answer is simple, pleasing and shows you are a reliable and low-maintenance party partner. The second, though clearly not their preferred answer, shows that you are simply busy, but that she should not take this personally, as you are trying to immediately fix a new time to see her. This will also be acceptable, as she can then rapidly find an alternative party partner for the event, as she will have asked you in good time.

2. Be a reliable party partner

Having committed to attending an event, do your very best to show up and be on time. Confirm, in a few ways, in the days leading up to the event. Statements like, ‘What will you be wearing, I want to check our outfits go well together’, or ‘Shall I come early so we can get some food first’ show you haven’t forgotten, and you are planning to show her a good night.

Collect her on time and ensure you have done everything you need in advance (like a bottle of wine if it is BYOB, or making sure you have condoms, change for parking or whatever you might need). This screams ‘Daddy’ vibes, and women love to not be expected to run around after disorganised man-children, sending them reminders or having to try to plan ahead for their failings when they don’t read the event info. On the off-chance you are unexpectedly delayed, make sure you let her know early so she can adjust her own plans.

3. Look the part of the party partner

If a woman has invited you to an event as her party partner, she expects you to pull your weight. Show up showered, groomed and nicely dressed, in a style that befits the event (and the link, ticket or website info will tell you what this is). She will have likely invited you in good time to make arrangements, which includes selecting, purchasing, trying on and ensuring your own attire is cleaned, ironed and fits well, without needing her help to arrange this. Complaining that you don’t have appropriate kink wear, or want to wear trainers, is just not on. You are there as her arm candy, so the other women will will swoon, ask to play in threes or simply comment to her, ‘How do you always manage to show up with the best looking men?’ This is your role. Fill it. Live it. Don’t make it weird.

4. Do your job as a party partner

Your role attending as the party partner of a woman is to not only play with her, but help ensure she gets the fantasy scenarios she has been hoping for. You are there to work as a tag team, seducing the most attractive couples and singles together (depending on both your preferences) for group sex, full swap, soft swap or kink play with others. Not sure what you are aiming for? Discuss it together in advance! She is your ‘wife’ for the night. Treat her as such. Worship her, protect her, ensure her pleasure and desires are paramount. This is your fastest and simplest route to a great time.

Don’t go off solo with the first new woman to turn your head- ensure that for the evening you are working as a team with your party partner and sharing the glorious spoils of your conquests together. Whether you split a couples ticket or pay the whole thing yourself (and there are legitimate circumstances where either is reasonable) she is not there just to get you in so you can wander off. You are supposed to be working together.

5. Don’t complain

If you are honoured to be invited to an event which holds the potential for you to achieve all your sexual dreams, do not start whinging about distance, details, being tired or similar. This is your night to make amazing, for yourself and for your party partner. If it isn’t, you aren’t playing your role well enough. It is rare that your party partner will in fact be the organiser of an event. She will normally just be a guest too, who has invited you to something she is hoping you will both like. Don’t be spoiled, entitled or put the responsibility onto her for how your own night turns out. If you don’t have a good night, you did not put in the preparation work. That’s on you.

6. Don’t make excuses

The fact that you are not ‘In a relationship’ is absolutely no excuse for low effort, last minute cancellations or bad behaviour. What absolutely every woman who invites you to a play party as her party partner wants, is for you to step up to fill the vacant role for the evening. Act like you are her loving husband, boyfriend, or brother. Make sure she is safe at all times. Make sure she is happy.

She is giving you the opportunity to explore your wildest fantasies, and you will always fare better with a female partner at a play party than as a solo male. It just gives you status. Appreciate that your job is to give her the same status at the event. This does not mean you are suddenly ‘committed’. It just means that for the evening, between picking her up and seeing her safely home, your role is to act as though you were, for her and the wider world to see.

Are you an ideal male party partner for sex parties?

Now, gentlemen, this my seem like a list of demands. But let me clarify. This is what the women EXPECT as a minimum when they invite you. That they can share the adventure of the evening with someone who proves themselves worthy of it and isn’t an embarrassment. The more you deviate from this script, the more you will find your once willing playmates are suddenly turned off, annoyed, hostile or completely absent. The women consider these details to be OBVIOUS and implied in the invitation itself.

I have seen to many cute boys absolutely fail because they cannot understand that they are expected to be functioning as a competent, desirable and respectable adult man for one evening. Forget crunching those abs. Forget the flashy car. The swinger women know what we want, expect and need from a party partner. Six simple steps to being better at this than 90% of the swinger men.

Happy hunting, baby ducklings xx

*All images created by Midjourney Ai under licence for the purposes of illustration and entertainment

Any top tips you learned as you turned from a newbie sex-party tourist into a sultan of swing? Share in the comments