‘You need to make a logo.’

Yes, yes, I know.

‘You’ve been doing this for over 2 years now with no logo. It’s easy. Just go on Canva and make one.’

Sigh.

‘Like, seriously? What is the matter with you?’

In the words of Alanis Morissette, ‘The good advice that you just couldn’t take.’

Why am I incapable of making a logo for unicorn hunting blog, for the book, or for anything else?

I’m a words person. I’m not visual. I can look at something and go ‘That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen’ (that will not be what you hear if you send me dick pics, by the way) but to actually put together the elements that work visually is such a challenge for me. I can spend hours, look at it and go ‘I have no idea if that’s good.’

I think, in my heart of hearts, I know it probably isn’t.

I’m stuck on the visuals. Sounds so basic to most, but my fairy godmother wishlist this year reads as follows:

-A good book cover designer

-A talented cartoonist with an evil sense of humour and an understanding of the swing world

-A brilliant set of photos for the website, book relaunch and general use

-A hot lesbian lover

-a logo

– an affordable, large house with great travel connections to set up a libertine polyamorous commune in

-art and illustrations to use

As you can see, it’s largely based on visuals. The trouble is, how do you truly express unicorn hunting blog in a logo? What captures it (no pun intended)?

I find myself in need of someone with an eye for beauty and the skill to make it real.

So, my baby ducklings and lovely libertines, what do you think I should do for a logo? Any clever ideas? Anyone want to rescue a damsel (ahem) in distress?

Unicorns is a non-commercial, community resource for all who support equality, sex-positive living and inclusion. If you are quietly wishing to showcase your talents, either as an artist or writer, drop me a line. I’m less ferocious than SkyNews makes me out to be. Usually.

Today, it seems I’m the one hunting mythical creatures.