Why try Honey Birdette? Why try luxury boutique underwear shopping? With the early stages of lockdown release still heavily restricting our ability to frolic freely, there has been almost nothing for me to review by way of live swinger and kink events for a very long time. Yet there is one new thing to experience as the shops re-open: the movie-star style, personal, private underwear shopping session!
Why do we need luxury underwear?
In trying to prepare for the adult events which will be back restarting a month or two, it was clear I was going to need some new saucy lingerie for my new shape. Though adult events vary widely in expected attire, some really nice underwear is definitely a solid staple to invest in. Does it have to be expensive? No. You can order something from EBay for £3 and they will still let you in. Whether it arrives looking anything like the photo, fits properly, stays on and flatters you is rather an unknown. The ‘wear once and throw away’ items certainly have their place. They allow you to wear a variety of different looks, especially if you go to a lot of parties. Or have a tendency to lose your undercrackers in a pile at the bottom of the big orgy bed.
What they don’t do, is make you feel high value. A wonderful friend of mine first introduced me to the concept of expensive underwear. She’s a big Agent Provocateur fan. Another liked to wear La Perla. As with diamonds, once you’ve reached a certain age, you feel a lot better with the gravitas that comes from displaying financial success. While some brands scream ‘I have a really good Sugar Daddy,’ the price tag for those single ladies who don’t, may be a little forbidding. Even if you wear the items to every party for a year, you’ve still sunk the cost of a reasonable holiday on a single set.
What is Honey Birdette?
Enter Honey Birdette, a distinctive and carefully crafted brand that comes in at a little over a day’s average salary for a complete outfit. Not something to wear to work under your clothes, perhaps (unless that makes you feel super sexy) but perfect for a special occasion, where you will be viewed and admired by many.
While many men don’t seem to know a great deal about high-end lingerie brands, and focus more what’s inside it, the women know. Oh, they can tell straight away. Showing up in the same Primark suspender set as another woman (although I’ve done that to match with friends before as a giggle – we figured maybe if we obviously came as a set it would be easier to find playmates to share) doesn’t project the image that you view yourself and your body as anything special.
Half the trick is convincing yourself. Just as when you put on your make up and do your hair, when you slip into your sexy attire, you transform into your high-value, sexual self. Suddenly you aren’t Jane who does the school run, or serves at the checkout. Now you are Jane the silky, primal fox, who is sexually empowered and ready to claim the pleasure she is owed, from the most epicurean selection of delectable playmates.
Why try Honey Birdette boutique lingerie shopping appointments?
In lieu of parties and full events, boutique underwear shopping is a fantastic experience to slowly slide yourself back into the self-love and sexuality that life has been so missing for so long. I’d actually never tried it before, but had a notion of such things from films, and it really seemed a bucket-list experience. With my sexy friend (and bubble buddy), we set out to see whether we could book. Amazingly, Honey Birdette in Covent Garden had a number of boutique fitting sessions available on the first Saturday after shops reopened. I couldn’t believe our luck.
We booked in and I arrived ready to enjoy this new, sexy experience with my wonderful friend, for some boobs-out fun. I arrived (to the minute, oddly) for my appointment and was greeted by the lovely sales lady. We went to the red-lit fitting room space at the back, where my friend had already picked out half the store’s styles to try on. We were given flutes of champagne as we tried things on.
What is Honey Birdette lingerie like?
The sales woman brought us styles to match our tastes popping back with different sizes if something didn’t fit right. In one of the styles I was a 32E, which is certainly a first for me. Some of the cup sizes come up a little smaller than you might expect. I’m perfectly delighted to fit an E cup. It is much more than I look, and nearly bought that style just to have a label that said so!
There were lacey mesh options, structured strappy options and a variety of toys and accessories. I didn’t actually try on the sex toys, obviously, but my mischievous friend was irresistibly compelled to stick the suction-cup dildos to anything on the shop they would adhere to. I tried on some burlesque balconette styles and some black, structured harness styles. 40 minutes later, with a lot of naked boobs and mirror posing, we’d each found a winner.
One of the great things about Honey Birdette is that the underwear is clearly designed to be seen. There are halters, straps, matching accessories and suspender belts for everything. The underwear generally came in at least 2 different styles, a brief version and a thong. For my outfit I went with the ‘brief’ which had a substantial front but just 4 straps at the back. This option would be great for taking anal without taking off and losing your swish new knickers at a party. It could also work well with a butt-plug fox tail.
Shop for lingerie online or in store at Honey Birdette
Honey Birdette also has an online shop, with a larger selection of items. It includes their newest lines. The online shop, however, doesn’t give you that special experience. The chance to do something fun and naughty with a sexy girlfriend. The chance to drink champagne while someone brings you different styles and sizes. And, most importantly, the chance to try on a lot of different shapes and styles to see what really works best with your body shape. The options at Honey Birdette are certainly varied- they’ve really broken the mould on how lingerie should look.
There are hammock-style bras, halters with detailing. There is lace and even elasticated straps over the nipples of a kind I’ve never seen before. The way each cut and style sits on your own breast shape is completely different. Having the chance to try things on in person allows you to find something far more flattering. My collar and chest harness is detachable from the bra. I could even wear the outfit under my dress on arrival at a swinger event and just re-attach these parts when I feel comfortable to show some more flesh, without having to change the whole lingerie set.
Armed with some brand new, high-end lingerie to suit my post-lockdown physique, and the fun and giggles that only come from reconnecting with a gorgeous, sexy friend for some naked fun, I’m starting to feel a step closer to re-emerging from this endless social hiatus with a little more confidence, self worth and swagger.
You can book your own Honey Birdette luxury boutique lingerie shopping experience at here.
A note on the images and body image
As I have said before, and everywhere, the images I use have been selectively altered. Hair colour, gender, dimensions – even cartoon filters- nothing is sacred. The images here are no different. I’m not an underwear model or Instagram model- they are half my age (and often use just as many filters). Yet, in order to show the underwear, I really felt I should actually wear it. Wear it as it is, without clothes pegs and tape and tricks that you’ll see in catalogues. I’m all about the integrity, right?
I recently asked on Instagram how being naked at adult events made you view your own body. Some felt it had made them more accepting, most said it had encouraged them to choose a healthy diet and exercise regime, but a strong swathe, especially women, said it made them have or consider surgery. Now, I don’t want to add to the self-hatred people feel, body dysmorphia and quest for the unicorn of the flawless physique (or whatever we are told that means at any given moment). That’s not really what I am about.
Why change an image?
I’m actually pretty shy and don’t like my body more than anyone else, perhaps less than most. Apart from being approached by people online who want to court (bone) me for doctored images they perceive as real, I have also had quite a lot of very harsh comments from random strangers. They ask me if I’m a BBW (I’m a UK size 10), if I’m in my 50s (I was in my 30’s at the time), referring to saggy skin, wrinkles, calling me grandma and every other thing about oneself one hopes is just your own negative self-perception. Yet, at parties, people still want to play with me. That’s nice. I like that.
A long lockdown of isolation hasn’t helped my self-image. Nor have a lot of long-term, rather self pitying, unhealthy lifestyle choices. But what can I say? I survived. I’m guessing you did too, so there’s no point doing anything other than starting from right now. Wherever that may be. Rebuilding how we see ourselves. In our current bodies, with some self-care, and treating ourselves as though we have high self-worth. Do it enough, and we actually will.
What has changed in the images?
Lest anyone feels bad about themselves from the images (or imagines me to really look like that), I will remind you that I have selected the best of some very posed and carefully lit shots. I’m not ‘born with it’. So, integrity and truth at the forefront, here is what has been done to the images in detail:
- Slight smoothing filter over entire image
- Blurred background
- Colour and lighting filters
- Change of eye size and brightness
- Change of lip size and shape
- Extra smoothing to arms and chest area
- Acne remover tool
- Change of jaw shape and neck smoothing
- Reshaping of belly and waist
- Obviously wearing a wig
- I’m also not averse to having a little work done myself
The image and the person
So, why did I do this? Partly because I had it in my head (from the demon on my shoulder) that the underwear company might ask me to take the images down if I didn’t. Because I don’t have a photo studio. I don’t have a photographer, dietician, personal trainer and the expendable time and money of a Kardashian to look exactly as I might wish. Partly because my posts get more interaction if the photos look a way that conforms to expected ideals of appearance. Also partly because I like to have a level of discretion, secrecy and disguise. Anything that takes the images further away from how I really look is helpful.
I’m hoping that when things start to reopen, everyone (myself included) will start to regain some confidence that we are sexy. That our bodies are attractive, and we are actually just fine exactly as we are. Though relying on external validation for these things is always just a temporary plug in the hole that ever trickles out self-worth, it actually really does help.
How to feel sexy again
Part of getting to feel that way again is treating our bodies as though we believe it already. Not just making good choices, but selecting nice things to wear on our new shapes, that fit, flatter and make us feel like we are actually worth the cost (or hopefully more) of that which we are wearing. That we are humans worth investing in, decorating, displaying, and that we believe this ourselves. Once we start to accept and appreciate ourselves and our shapes as we are, then we also start to make better choices for ourselves. We aren’t constantly drawn back into the self-destructive and self-loathing spiral of binging, depression, lack of consistency and every micro-form of self-harm we indulge in for a few minutes’ boost.
Has lockdown changed your self image and self-care behaviours? What are your plans to feel great again? Feel free to share some advice in the comments below.
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