In part 1 and part 2 we considered whether hiring an escort might be right for you and why, as well as examining some of the worries people have. If you’ve decided to hire an escort for your fantasy threesome, here are some top tips to do it right and make sure you are her new favourite customer.
Dos and don’ts for hiring an escort
Do hire a well-paid professional escort or courtesan from an high-end agency, or an independent trader with good reviews from a professional site. We are working to the assumption that you are an ethical person not looking to exploit anyone, and that you have the good taste to want to treat yourself and your partner to a high-quality experience, especially if it is your first time.
Do make sure the escort or agency covers your area if you are looking for an outcall (visit to your house or hotel). If you are looking to visit her, check she will be working in that area when you are looking to book for. Many escorts travel a lot, and they may have a timetable of which areas they will be on different days. If she has to travel, there will be a cost for this.
Do plan ahead for when you are going to have your fantasy threesome, and don’t expect an immediate response in the middle of the night, or at any time. If she works as an escort full-time, she will be busy with other clients, who also deserve her full attention for the session they have purchased. Many work part time, and have other jobs, families and responsibilities to attend to. Either way, nobody can be available for you 24/7 – we all sleep some time. If you’ve decided you are horny at 3am, you can try an agency that says it is 24 hours, but do not expect to be able to speak with your desired choice immediately, or even that she is necessarily available at that time.
Do make sure your message is friendly, that you know what you want and get to the point. There should be no need for more than 2 messages total between saying hello and confirming the booking.
Do pay in advance through the site or have the cash ready as soon as you meet her
Do practice safe sex throughout your encounter
Don’t try to change the plan, location or activity at the last minute. Yes, sometimes things happen. But your job is booked as stated at the price stated, and she may not be able to accommodate the changes. You may lose your booking. Location changes look highly suspicious and escorts need to be aware of that as lone-workers and take precautions. This means not suddenly being asked to change location.
Don’t ask her to do things she has not agreed to in advance. Certain activities are not available, and certain activities cost extra. Like at a restaurant. There’s a menu.
Don’t grill her for personal information. Whether she has a partner, where she lives and where she went to school are not appropriate to ask unless she offers the information to you. It can be tempting to try to make yourself feel at ease with additional information, yet she is an actress there to play a role. The more you know, the harder it will be for her to perform this role convincingly for you
Don’t expect her to buy lots of equipment or outfits for your meeting. If there is something she needs for your experience (like a jockey outfit, red latex catsuit, expensive lingerie in green or specific toys or equipment, do take her size and purchase them to give to her as a gift for the meeting, or expect to pay extra if she is going to have to source them herself. Do not give her used or second hand things to wear, or attempt to use a sex toy on her that has been used on someone else. This is unhygienic, unsafe and disrespectful. Ensure everything is boxed at the start so she can see it is new and she will certainly make the pleasure of receiving these gifts part of the experience.
Don’t ask a sex worker who does not escort or does not perform sexual services to do so. Sex workers can include adult film stars, cam girls, professional dominants and more. If they specify they do not do call-girl services, do not ask them to. Additionally, some in-person services do not involve sexual activity (companionship services, cuddling, etc)
How to make sure your escort has a good time
What to do
-Ensure you are showered, nicely dressed and have brushed your teeth, shaved or trimmed your pubes, washed your hair and done the things you would do to prepare for any normal date. Especially ensure you have washed your genitals and under your foreskin if you have one.
-Be punctual, and appreciate that the payment is to cover the entire time you are with her, not just during sexual activity. Ensure you are ready to be out the door the moment your session ends. This includes showering, cuddling, changing and any general faffing about. You are paying for her time.
-Have payment ready at the start and allow her to call or message her security person. Let her count it and put it away. Don’t make it weird. As soon as these things are done the fun can begin!
-Do treat your escort with politeness and respect. She is a professional wish-granter, a genie who conjures up lived fantasies for people with an almost telepathic ability, and an excellent actress for your immersive full-contact theatre production. She will be using her skills, talents and experience to try to make sure you both have a wonderful, unforgettable experience, and this deserves your appreciation.
-If your escort asks you to wash, bathe or do something else to prepare, do so without argument. Even if you already did it.
-Do expect very safe sex, with condoms for everything, including oral. If you need a special size or have an allergy and need latex-free, be sure you have a plentiful supply of your own.
-Do have an open mind. Escorts are wonderful at reading the thoughts and emotions of people, and she may have a suggestion for your fantasy experience that she thinks you’ll really enjoy. Naturally, temper this by holding your own boundaries and doing only what you are happy with – a suggestion is just a suggestion.
-Do tip your escort at the end, especially if you’ve had a good time. If she is working through an agency or you have paid via a website, they will be taking a huge percentage of her earnings. Tipping in cash at 10-20% (whatever is a round number of notes) is always a nice way to say thank you.
What not to do
-Don’t arrange to see an escort when you are ill or have an STI. If you have an untreatable STI, disclose this at the time of booking. You may be able to find someone with the same STI status who specialises. If the escort you contacted does not, she may be able to recommend a coworker for you
-Don’t expect kissing unless she has specified this is available. Many escorts will kiss if they don’t have a rule against it, but often want to decide that in person. Much of it has to do with your oral hygiene.
-Don’t get drunk or high before your escort arrives. They have to be mindful that many strangers can become violent, dangerous or disregard their boundaries after a few drinks and may not be willing to stay. You need to ensure she feels safe on arrival.
-Do not hurt your escort by being rough or leaving lasting injuries. If this is part of what you have arranged with her for the experience, ensure that you stick well within the boundaries of what has been agreed in advance. If you bruise, rip or injure your escort she may not be able to work for some time afterwards, and it’s not like she’ll get any sick pay.
-Do not expect your escort to become your friend, romantic lover or triad outside of the service you have hired her for. Escorts are good at their job and can make you feel elated, special and desired. This is what they are paid to do. Most escorts are happy to have repeat bookings, go out for drinks and dinner, take a walk in the park with you or cuddle up with a movie. Provided you pay for their time. Ensure you don’t expect freebies or discounts because you have become enchanted by the feelings she can create in you. You are paying her for that very experience.
-If the experience doesn’t end up being how you imagined it, you cannot perform in the moment, you change your mind or do not feel the way you thought you would about it, don’t worry. This often happens with regular, unpaid threesomes with swingers too. Fantasies are fantasies, and very rarely the same in real life even if we felt all the components were there that we wanted. Still pay her fully for her time, she will have done her very best to make this the experience you wanted.
Ideas to make your threesome with an escort extra fun
You can just book a simple threesome, especially if it is your first time, and your escort will guide you through and make sure it is fun for you. If you’d like something more novel, present brief fantasy scenarios to her that you’d like to try (in advance, before booking, so all costumes, ideas and equipment can be purchased and prepared). Most escorts love role play, and it’s a fun new experience for everyone then. Bear in mind that certain topics may be upsetting or off-limits to some people, so be mindful of racial stereotypes (like playing Cowboys and Indians), possible past traumas (like a scene depicting force) and personal safety (like being tied up) and look at the profile carefully to see what sort of things they have listed as options.
Some possible ideas:
- The Little Mermaid, Ursula and Eric
- Superhero characters
- Sonic the Hedgehog and friends
- The escort as harpy/witch/enchantress/vampire luring you in and making you do her bidding
- Fairies and Satyr
- James Bond, the female Villain and Moneypenny
- Royalty, nobles and the servants
- Business meeting got too sexy
- Doctors and nurses
- Monk and nuns
Many role plays have an element of taboo or power imbalance but even without this, getting to dress and act as someone else for play can be extremely liberating and help you really get into the right headspace for a new adventure.
Once you have established that you like your escort and she knows you are fun, safe people to have as clients after a session or two, she may well be up for more adventurous ideas.
-Taking her on holiday with you both to a villa, resort or swinger holiday like Cap D’Ague or Hedonism (you will need to pay her for her time as well as tickets and accommodation, but she is likely to give you a good rate for a long booking that she will enjoy.
-Asking her to recommend a friend to have a MFFF foursome together! (Or MMFF, or MMMF, whatever interests you. She will probably know other workers she can recommend to join.
-Take her out to a fancy dinner and opera, where none of you are wearing any underwear the whole time, and feel the sexual tension and excitement build for later as you all can’t stop thinking about when you can finally get your hands on each other
Naturally, for many people, part of the reason to use an escort is to introduce more variety, and you may well wish to hire different people on different occasions. There is no need to be secretive or guilty about this, as she is a professional. She may even be able to recommend other sex workers she knows who she thinks will suit your tastes better than she does. It is not necessary to keep in contact with your escort between booking the way you might with a non-paid date, however it is well to keep on good terms with her, as she can provide feedback to the website on you if she is self-employed, or to her agency if not. Hopefully, this post will have given you some good ideas to make sure you are now her favourite clients.
** Please note: I am not an escort, unicornhunting.blog is not an escort agency. Please do not ask me to send or recommend escorts. This is an advisory post on how to ethically consider whether hiring a sexworker is the best option for your relationship and threesome goals as a swinger, and how to ensure a positive experience for all.
** Unicornhunting.blog believes in intersectional feminism. This includes supporting sex workers.
**Many thanks to the many wonderful humans (women and otherwise) I have known whose experiences have been shared with me and informed this post.