One has to question his motivation in fucking anything that moves. Low self esteem? Something to prove? Pathological dissociation? Is it directed at devaluing you personally?
your partner(s) are getting down to business, clothing coming off and sex fantasies all ready to happen. Then, looming in from the shadows comes 'that guy'. He's staring silently, looking like a supervillain's henchman, or smiling maniacally, all alone. He's standing a little too close for comfort, cock in hand, stroking himself off to your frolics.
Do you feel sex parties and swinging fit in with feminist ideals? Totally. It's about what I want to do on equal terms with men. I feel sexually equal at sex parties - I don't have to pretend to be the stereotype of a girl who is 'hard to get' or is 'prey' for a man. Do you think you are perceived differently from 'vanilla' women? Yes- I think men on the scene would not consider me as a girlfriend as I am too equal sexually. Men don't want that in a partner usually. There is a double standard, that's for sure.
This really depends on the people - I have no favourite, couples, three singles, friends, whatever..... it is all good if everyone knows what their role is and communicates what they want - and being a filthy minx or tomcat helps too! People who give in and let the sensation and experience take over and stop worrying about how they look, or what the other one is up to.
Here is where I tell you how to take down the hard to capture unicorn. Executed correctly, it is ruthlessly effective. It is also, in its whole, though not necessarily its parts, very dishonest. This is the strategy for the couple who are all about the hunt. For whom the intellectual and primal challenge are the motivator, rather than necessarily the end product. It is completely unethical in its construction, yet if done right, everyone goes away happier than any other strategy I know of. Sorry, my unicorns, here is where I expose your Achilles' heel.
Everyone's guilty of making assumptions at some time....judgement is human nature, it's a survival tactic...so you can't be too hard on people about it...just put them right when they make an assumption of you, if you care enough to...mostly I don't care enough about other people's opinions of me...the time I care is when I actually care about the person making the assumption.