New Female Empowerment and Self-defence Workshop in London
I sit across from Sadistic Coach, London’s #1 fitness coach for the kink community; a woman who instantly brings to mind the phrase ‘strong is beautiful‘. Her skin glows golden with health. Her eyes fix me with cool confidence. She warmly tells me about the new female empowerment and self-defence workshop she’s running in London on Sunday 14th April. It’s not just about physical self-defence moves, how to fend off an attacker or tips on carrying your car keys in your hand. It’s going to be so much more. It’s going to teach you how to love yourself, teach you how to value yourself, and teach you how to be a strong woman; a confident woman. It’s going to teach you how to stop attacking yourself.
Who needs female empowerment?
April is the perfect month to do it because it’s sexual assault awareness month, and I have a friend who got mugged- got her phone snatched from her about a month and a half ago. She was in a really dark place, so I reached out to her and I was like, ‘Hey, you know what? I’d like to show you some self-defence, because it’s very empowering when you know something you can do.’ She kind of sparked that, going forward. I’ve done this several times, back in The States, but this one is completely different, because this one I’m calling the ‘Get Loud, Get Strong’ campaign, I’m hoping it’s going to launch off several projects after this. By ‘Get Loud’ what I mean is that as a woman, a lot of times we feel that if something happens to us, we keep quiet, we don’t say anything. Or we might know something happened to someone else and we kind of hush. So this gives us the opportunity to have our voice and be heard and start standing up for ourselves as sisters within our community because we need to be strong enough to be able to handle different situations when things do happen to our sisters, and to get strong. I’m all about that, being a Sadistic Coach.
I don’t think just because you are in a certain tribe that someone could benefit more from it. Because you don’t know what’s going on in people’s heads and you don’t know what they are dealing with. You don’t know what they are battling inside everyday. They can be really good at masking problems. It could be anybody who needs this.
How do you learn to love yourself?
Most people think healthy is all about the physical and what you are eating, but if you’re not healthy inside your mind, if you’re not dealing with the things that are inside your mind or inside your heart then you’ll be very unhappy. A lot of times it’s because we, as women, do a lot of comparison. We have a lot of self-doubt, a lot of jealousy, envy. Somebody can tell us something and the first thing we want to do is put our head down low because we let it affect us. My parents are very outgoing, very free spirited, made me very independent, but they never taught me how to love myself. They told me to, but they didn’t teach me how. So, I didn’t really learn the tools of how to love myself, unconditionally. We are told to do it. You can ask anybody ‘Do you love yourself?’ and they will probably say yes, but do you really know what that means? So part of this self-defence that I’m teaching has to come from self-confidence. You have to have self-confidence to deal with events. So that’s why we are going to start from the inside and work out.
The ladies think it’s going to be all physical, but no. We are going to go deep. Deep down. Because that’s how I had to do it.
I went to a very dark place, and I didn’t know how to dig myself out of it. Everyone told me ‘you’re going to get better. You’re going to be fine. It’s going to make you stronger. And that’s fine. But no one showed me how to get out of that hell: The darkness. So, I had to figure it out on my own. I had to learn my own tools, I had to dig myself out of that and build up my self-esteem, build up my self-confidence. To think that I was worthy, think that I was enough, because I didn’t think any of that. It lifted a weight off my shoulders. I stopped being mad at the world, I stopped being mad at everyone and started building new relationships. I had to learn that. No-one taught me that. These tools are things that I want to give to women. I don’t want anyone, any woman, to go through that, so now it’s time to share and give back to the world a stronger, fitter, healthier sisterhood.
How to get strong mentally
Get Strong: that means get strong physically, get strong mentally and get over thinking that we can’t do anything. Health is the most important thing in the world, mental health and also physical health. So, Get Loud, Get Strong is the campaign that I’m hoping to launch off. I’m hoping this is just the beginning of it. You’ve seen it in its infancy.
I volunteer on the crew at LAM (London Alternative Market). That’s where I first started when I came to London. I now also work the door at Future Parties. I haven’t had to physically throw anyone out. In the kink scene, it’s completely different to the vanilla scene. People in the kink scene are very cordial, really respect people’s boundaries and respect people’s space. If I was on the door in a vanilla environment? I’d have had to kick people out. I’d have probably been in a couple of fights too, I’m sure I would. The kink scene is completely different. And I have a pretty awesome presence about me.
How to be a strong woman
It’s open to anyone who identifies as female, or lives life 24/7 as a female, I also am selectively allowing cross dressers in this class. It’s open to all females, anyone identifying as female, that are able to come. Vanilla, kink, everyone. I have a whole spectrum coming. It’s not all kink.
Everyone is going to benefit from it. Most times when someone calls us a bitch or idiot we get into our shells- we might close-up. Or worst-case scenario, we want to fight- because we don’t know how to defend ourselves. We don’t know how to defend ourselves from verbal attacks. The worst thing is that we are with ourselves 24 hours a day. So how do we protect ourselves from self-attacks? How do you do that? I think that’s without a doubt probably one of the most threatening things that people really have within themselves. So now we get to learn the tools of ‘How do I defend myself from self-attacks?’ Jealousy, anger, those kinds of things. Everyone can benefit from it. I even had men, that when they heard I was doing this- it wasn’t really the physical aspects they were interested in. It was the verbal self-defence they were interested in. The men were like ‘Oh I want to do this too’. I was like ‘Nah, it’s only for females, sorry. If I do that I might come back and tell you.’
Of course, there are men who need it too, but I’m really into women’s empowerment. I’m into women coming together and building their self-esteem. You’ve see someone who maybe has something that we like, or we start thinking that we don’t have enough money or we’re too short. I’m just more into women’s empowerment because I think we are the ones who are affected a lot more by society, everything that we see, and we really do put ourselves down. I think women need to be strong in the community. Women can do that.
If they don’t feel like they can walk away feeling like they can take over the whole freaking world? Then I didn’t do my job. I know they are going to walk away with that. I know they are going to walk away knowing that.
I want to let women know: Don’t be intimidated by this event. They don’t have to know any skills; they aren’t going to be thrown down. We’re not going to do anything aggressive. When it comes to the physical part? We are going to do practical things. Things that will stay in your mind. My whole thing is this: keep it simple. Even the verbal self-defence? People are going to think they have to remember long things, for stuff to say. It’s just a couple of words, to say to somebody, and that’s it. I think keep everything as simple as possible because that’s how we remember it, when we need it, and it’s a lot easier.
If anyone has any injuries or mental health issues, they are going to want to communicate that to me before they come. I can do modifications if I need to. Make me aware of what’s going on. Because you just don’t know. You don’t know what happened to someone in their past. I would like to know if they were victimised in the past, because I’d like to be aware of that. I’d like to keep an eye on them in the seminar. My duties are are more than self-defence classes. Sometimes women, with trauma before- there’s some things that click and snap. You have to be prepared and you have to be aware of that, so I coach my team, to look out and be aware. But I like to know that from women too, because I want to keep an eye on them through the seminar. It’s very important. I’ve been there so I can completely understand.
Right now I have 22 women who are confirmed. I would love to have at least 30 there. There’s no maximum. There is a close off date, the Saturday 13th April, before the event. Nothing is at the door, everything is online at Eventbrite.
I already have a company who has reached out to me and asked me, ‘would you do this on a smaller scale? Would you come into our company and do self-defence?’ I said ‘Yeah, absolutely.’
That’s my vision. My vision is to do women’s empowerment all over the UK, I would travel around. These companies, they just host me. They promote, they get the people, I just show up. That’s my dream right there.
New fitness classes for the kink community
I do have a couple of clients I do do one on one training with, although I’m not taking on any more new clients, just because I want to focus on my training as I am due to be in a body building competition in November. But what I am going to start doing here at the end of April, is that I am going to start a sub-fitness bootcamp. I have another pro-domme who wants to do it with me, so basically I have different stations that are set up and we are just doing physical fitness and whipping everyone’s butt into shape. And probably literally!
We are going to start that up. It’s open to anyone. It’s going to be in a vanilla club but they can wear fetish-wear if they dare! They can wear fetish-wear. But there’s no acts- no sexual acts or anything like that, we just are literally whipping your ass into shape. Making sure you’re doing it. There might be mild play like foot worship or spanking. Just mild forms of play like that.
Why not be able to get fit and healthy without being judged? You can wear whatever the heck you want to wear. There’s a huge community. A huge kink community. London is huge for the kink community. How are we feeding that? How are they able to get fitness? Fitness is a thing that’s hard and it’s difficult. So you want to make sure that you have a plan so you can stay and be consistent with it. A lot of times, people who live the lifestyle 24/7, they go into Gold’s Gym or something like that and they kind of feel a little bit out of place. We want the kink community to feel welcome.
I’ve been wanting to do this for quite a while. I want to do one too for doms/dommes. It’s going to be ‘dom-fit’ because we have to do something completely different. Power moves, things like that. A completely different work out. I also want to do another fitness night where everyone wears masks, just come in a mask. So I have a lot of ideas for a lot of different fitness that we do, getting in shape, having fun.
I’m London’s number one fitness coach for the kink and BDSM community. What better place to get fit and be free to be who the hell you are? At the end of the day, be who you want to be.
Contact Sadistic Coach
The best way to reach me is firstname.lastname@example.org or my social media Instagram at sadisticcoach. Twitter is @coachsadistic. They can reach out to me anywhere. Fetlife is sadisticcoach . Any one of those places. Tickets for the Women’s Empowerment and Self-defence Seminar are at Eventbrite.
I do have a big surprise for all the women at the end of this seminar. It’s a surprise that is really going to… If they are not empowered up to that point? This little surprise that’s happening? Is going to take them over the edge. I just cannot wait. I’m so excited about it. It’s going to be amazing.