Nothing but the horn: Unicorn stereotyping

Everyone’s guilty of making assumptions at some time….judgement is human nature, it’s a survival tactic…so you can’t be too hard on people about it…just put them right when they make an assumption of you, if you care enough to…mostly I don’t care enough about other people’s opinions of me…the time I care is when I actually care about the person making the assumption.

Miss Genie, 30’s, sexually liberated woman

 

As humans, we rely on our ability to spot patterns and use them to interpret the world around us.  The more we are exposed to a certain collection of information, the more our brains are able to find this pattern and give meaning to it, from the face of Jesus on our toast, to shapes in clouds, to the interpretation of what other people think and feel from a small series of cues.  Our minds learn to block out the anomalies- the pieces of data which don’t fit the patterns we are used to, so that we can rapidly process and forget that which is not useful to us and our survival.  The inability to block and filter this constant flow is what leads to difficulties for people on the autistic spectrum.  The over-reliance on blocking and filtering is what leads to bigotry, stereotyping and closed-mindedness.

CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy, not cock and ball torture, in this case) is a technique which attempts to re-programme our responses to cues, by examining other routes the information could take in our minds, to lead to a happier state of being.  For example, if you see two girls look at you and giggle to each other, what do you assume?  If you have a series of negative experiences and associations, or low self esteem, you may think they are laughing at how your ears stick out.  A different person might assume they were checking you out, and making suggestive comments to each other as they found you attractive.  Same cues, different interpretation.

The more you are exposed to sets of information as a pattern and their associations, the more entrenched your responses become.  With regard to threesomes, unicorns and bisexual females, unfortunately for the novice, your prior information set for pattern recognition and response is likely to be largely limited to erotic fiction and pornography. This is about as useful to you in the real world as Game of Thrones is to your understanding of historical events.  It is fiction.  It is simplified, reductive, and designed to elicit a response in you that will guarantee the highest likelihood of your continued consumption of the material produced.  It is aimed at the reward centres in your brain. It is a non-pharmaceutical drug, hooking you on your own biochemistry to create a mild addiction. If you want to up your game, to hit those same reward centres in real life, you need to be aware that your understanding so far is not entirely on target.

It is not entirely your fault.  Through an age old patriarchal society’s rules, your exposure to the real thing is limited.  It is secret, mysterious, forbidden.  Participants are fetishized. Yet is the fetishistic nature in your own mind that holds the key to both your pleasure by partaking, and your fall-flat mistakes in obtaining your goal.  I am going to tell you a list of things that are simply untrue.  Sorry to burst your bubble.

  1. Unicorns are more highly sexual than anyone else.  They are always at it, because they just love sex.  It’s what they are all about.
  2. Bisexual women always have sex with all the other bisexual women they know
  3. Bisexual women have sex with other bisexual friends whenever they see each other.  Most of the time, anyway.
  4. Whenever bisexual women get together, whatever the event, there is always some element of sex involved somewhere.  If not, they are thinking about it.
  5. Bisexual women are all up for MFF – it’s the best of both world’s right?
  6. Bisexual women should be flattered you have approached them for MFF.  It’s two for one?  What’s not to like?  They said they are bisexual?
  7. Unicorns like to be treated like a sex object.  They all always enjoy the attention of both of you at once.  They enjoy being hunted down.
  8. Unicorns are so busy with their sexual freedoms, they are just having sex all the time.  They consider this their main identity and don’t need or want to be considered as anything other than their sexual self.  That would bore them and turn them off.
  9. All single girls with bisexual tendencies or curiosities will enjoy an MFF
  10. All bisexual girls who enjoy MFF should be happy to partake in one with couples
  11. All unicorns who enjoy MFF with couples enjoy being the passive party in the selection, arrangements and event
  12. Unicorns are just slags.  If they weren’t happy to be considered sex objects, they would just go get a boyfriend.  They would never make girlfriend material, and they would certainly never want to be.
  13. A bisexual woman could never be satisfied with just one person in a relationship. They have to be unicorns, as they are so sexually charged that they would cheat on anyone, of either gender.
  14. There’s a strategy you can use that will work on all unicorns, infallibly.  They all want the same thing so the same rules apply

Doesn’t sound much like the depictions you’ve seen in porn and the wider media, does it? The truth is that unicorns in general see themselves and the things they do, not as a fixed identity, but as a part of their personal journey.  A path they explore, trying to understand themselves, life, relationships and in some cases work through previous hurts or anaesthetise themselves to that which they don’t want to feel.  If one has sex with you, you may well not hear from her again.  Yes, my baby ducklings, sometimes it is the unicorn who is using you.  There are always exceptions.  There are a million different stories and motivations, and every path is different.  If you want to catch a unicorn, you do not need to be a hunter.  You need to be a unicorn whisperer.

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