Hunting solo – single men and the MFF threesome

As a single guy trying to navigate the scene, it’s tricky getting a woman to take you seriously and separate you from the immediate dick pic brigade.  It’s hard enough trying to snare a unicorn without immediate assumptions about what type of guy you are but it obviously happens.  I’ve been lucky that I’ve had some chance encounters that have led to really good things, but having good threesomes is definitely another challenge.  Even with a playmate, it still took plenty of leg work to get it sorted.  Fortunately, both worked out really well, personality wise and physically.  I was at pains to make sure we both got what we wanted and made sure my playmate was the focus of our attention for the first part of the evening, before the favour was returned by both ladies later.  The other was at a party and a slightly different dynamic, but hot nonetheless.

Proflyactive, 36, single guy

Single guys seeking a MFF have several strategies they can use.

  1. Pair up with a playmate and make her your primary hunting partner
  2. Have a number of playmates to select from.  If you are patient, you may be able to mix and match them to form a trio, or when you find a unicorn looking for a couple you can offer her a choice of candidates to be the other F
  3. Hunt solo- target pairs of unicorns who are friends and play together.  Once you know some, this is often the easiest way to achieve your goal.

Single guys on the scene do have it tough.  While your unicorns may make up 1%, and couples about 60%, the rest is almost entirely single guys.  This might not seem like such a bad proportion, but the single guys are very highly active in the messaging stakes. They blanket bomb generic messages.  They send out nudes to say hello.  They are, in general, rude, offensive and clueless.  They annoy the single women to the point that most of them will block messages from all single guys.  How does one get through all this chaff to stand out as a worthy candidate?

a) Be different.  If your profile is really good, single girls will still search for you and find you.  Have good pictures.  Seem like you are someone they would want to date, and not be embarrassed by.  This is true whether you want to date them or just meet them for sex.  The women will be looking for someone who seems like a catch- someone they could be proud to say had notched their bedpost.  It’s a good idea to put your height, your field of work, especially if it something impressive or respectable, and good pictures of your face and body (nudes not required).  Write something in your profile box.  Make a joke.  Say what you like in a woman.  Say what your goals are (I’m new to the scene, looking for friends and party partners, etc.)  If you have any kinks you want to explore, be upfront about them, but be subtle (I’m curious about BDSM, I’d love to try a threesome if the dynamic is right, I’m bicurious, etc).  Though you risk putting a small percentage off by mentioning an interest, you are likely to gain as many back who share the same interest as you.  Some people like to include a short piece of erotic fiction – I’m not sure if this works for everyone.  I’d suggest you choose carefully.  I’ve had someone send me an elaborate violent rape fantasy as an opening message.  I did not meet him. Run a spelling and grammar check on your profile and messages, to avoid looking like an idiot.  Avoid lots of text talk (LOL, C U TMRW? HOT SEXY BBZ, etc.)  It can be helpful to put your nationality.  As well as seeming exotic, it will excuse a lot of spelling errors and misunderstandings if English is not your first language.  If you are local, or have a regional accent, put that too.  It all builds a picture of who you are, developing trust and familiarity.

b) Hit the parties.  As a single man, you will find a lot of events will not let you in, but there are a few that do.  If you want to attend, be sure to sign up very early as places for single males are usually limited.  At events with single men, the vibe can be intimidating. Usually, there seem to be dozens of guys, lined up against the walls, standing alone and watching the girls, not speaking to anyone.  Though this is likely shyness and a wish not to impose, it comes across as very creepy.   The single girls will usually be chatting together in groups, and seem unapproachable.   At many events, the rules may prohibit you from approaching the girls at all.  This seems an impossible situation for you, but all is not lost.  Most of our communication is not in what we say, but in our body language. Stand tall, step away from the wall, and stand 3-5 metres away from the object of your desire. Make eye contact and smile.  Not a shy smile, a confident smile.  A smile that says you are thinking about what could come next.  Practice doing this in the mirror before you go so it looks how you imagine it to.  Its a bit of an art, and takes practice to get right. If she looks at you and looks away and then back, she might be interested.  She might smile at you.  Try an affable move of the head to gesture her over, or if you think you can pull it off, beckon her over with your finger.  If she comes to talk to you, be friendly and complimentary.  Don’t go straight in for the kill.  Encourage her to talk about something. Ask her if she knows the venue.  What’s her favourite room? Would she like a drink?  Is she enjoying the night yet?  The more you can get her talking freely, the more you will relax her.  Do this with as many females as you can at the start of the night, then when you go back to them to talk to them or want to play later on, you’ve done the groundwork and have lots of potential girls to play with. Don’t spend the night standing around not trying.  Don’t get too drunk or take any drugs.  Don’t follow the girls from room to room, in a long line of single men, and stand watching them have sex.  For the love of God, don’t come up close to them and stand there wanking over them.  Don’t interrupt them to ask to join in during sex, and NEVER just skip the chat and join in without permission. That is assault, wherever you are. Even if the girl allows it, she likely wasn’t sure how to say no and she most certainly doesn’t want you to.  You are sure to be banned from the venue.  Don’t be that guy.  You can be the one the girls want to play with instead.  You can also attend couples events with a female who is not your partner.  I’ve known men to hire escorts for this reason, but you can find a willing female to go with you on a friendly basis, whether or not you want to have sex together.  Buy her ticket and drinks, pay for the taxi, and if you are playing with her pay for the hotel too.  Then, next time you ask, she will help you out again.  Some women may insist on paying their share, but as single girl tickets are discounted; never expect her to pay half the couples ticket price.  She is doing you a favour already, she shouldn’t be expected to financially subsidise your sexual exploits.

3) Get gregarious.  As well as commercial events, if you can build a circle of friends you will likely get invited to private ones too.  The single girls and couples will get to know you as ‘a good guy’ and be happy to include you in unstructured frolics (ironic, right?)  Be polite, participate in group chats before events if one is set up, and talk to the other guys and girls, as well as the ones you’d like to hook up with.  If you say you are coming, show up.  Private events mean one of your friends has gone to a lot of trouble to set things up, whether or not it is obvious, and nobody likes to cater for twenty and end up with three. Likelihood is, you have taken a space that other people could happily have filled if they were invited in time, but your friend has told them no, because they have allowed you priority.  Getting a last minute better offer or just not bothering because you don’t feel like it is disrespectful, and will likely mean you don’t get invited anymore.  If cancelling is unavoidable, let your host know as soon as possible and apologise sincerely.  Of the many private events I’ve been a part of, the initial ratio has been stacked 3:2 guys to girls. Even so, we have ended up on the night with between 3 and 6 girls to every one guy.  One of those could be you.

4) Be bold.  If you are lucky enough to have found a network with good single girls who play together, you are in the elite echelons of the swing world.  Take advantage of your favoured status and find out which girls normally like to play together.  Invite them both, openly, to come meet you for a great evening and some fun sex.  The girls will be happy to spend time together and to see you.  If you ask them both separately, they will likely think you are just trying to hedge your bets to have something to do for the evening, and are planning to cancel on one or both of them.  Girls talk to each other.  Make it clear that you want to see them both, together.  A man with the confidence to take control of matters is always hot. Scheduling is the tricky part with multi-person private meets.  Be patient, plan an evening for them worth attending.  Spoil them. They will adore you for it.  They will give feedback to the other single girls on how great it was and they will have done most of the ground work for you on achieving your next threesome with the other women.

All in all, single guys do have many advantages over couples, in that they can operate flexible strategies to achieve their goals.  They can, of course, also pick up women who do threesomes but don’t like to play with couples, of which there are a fair percentage.

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