Well I’ve had foursomes, just never the fabled threesome, believed to be a myth once upon a time. Just attending fetish events have created an honesty among partners that I’ve never experienced before. It’s okay to say “I’d like to fuck her,” something people wouldn’t have dreamt of saying to previous partners. It then becomes a real possibility and the endorphin release is incredible.
- I think its about patience and just being friendly and keeping in touch with people. People get lonely when they break up, they get excited and they get bored. Happens to us all eventually. Just being a couple on a few social kik sites, I’ve had several requests for simple, last minute fun without them even knowing what my partner might look like.
- Have a better than reality profile pic. That has to be weighed against the look of disappointment if you aren’t what they expected… then again if it is you then they are having, then that person- you- are their fantasy. I’ve fallen in love with many photoshopped or photogenic photos. You should see my instagram follows!
- Set the mood right or don’t bother. Enough to entertain three people, or prepared to splash the cash and have somewhere to go. Club/fetish playrooms are also a great alternative.
- Having an attractive, confident partner will help of course. You are bound to be approached where the subject can come up. Or at least one that’s as horny as you are!
- Introducing someone to the scene is far more risky than finding and dating someone already used to it.
My own favourite thoughts regarding threesomes are ‘It’s like having your cake and eating it, then having someone else’s too.’
Mr Pink & partner, 30’s, together a few months, fetish event attendees
Mr. Pink describes a multi-pronged approach, and the issues are best dealt with in turn.
Openness with your partner
Mr Pink describes the enjoyment he feels at being able to share his desires freely with his partner, without fear of admonishment. He references this as an aspect of the fetish scene he enjoys, and indeed the ability to explore sexual arousal in its diversity is a large part of the fetish scene itself. This is not to say, however, that it is strictly necessary to be a part of it in order to have frank and open discussions with your partner about your sexual desires. What this comes down to more is the ability to trust them, and feel secure in the knowledge that you respect each other enough not to make light of them or dismiss them. Depending on how your relationship begins, this may or may not be an issue. Sometimes these things are all up front, sometimes you have bonded over less sexual matters and it can feel, later on in a relationship, that you have an image to maintain for them. If that is the case exploring conversationally can be difficult, as you always take a level of risk when you step into unknown territory. There can also be a fear of miscommunication, and that your partner might feel hurt or devalued if you suggest changing something about your sexual dynamic.
Assuming you have got this far, and you are both happy to explore and gratify each others desires, Mr. Pink goes on to make some suggestions.
As a hunter, it can be tempting to focus on the kill straight away. Your prey appears to be right there. Either their is a barrier, or something falls through. Is it always worth abandoning them and moving straight onto the next one? Mr. Pink discusses a less focussed approach, in which any number of targets can be maintained at a low intensity social level. Things change for people, and the target you couldn’t quite pin down a month ago may well be in a different state of mind, for whatever reason, next week. Your efforts to be sociable and remove a high pressure situation, which many women will balk at, are not wasted. If you’ve earned the status of friend or acquaintance, they will likely be happy to have you check in from time to time to see how they are doing. Everyone likes to feel popular. Your ongoing investment of time engenders trust and connection that doesn’t vanish. For reasons that make no logical sense, women will often feel afraid for their safety meeting a stranger withing a few days to a week. That same stranger, never even having met, will a few months later seem like an old friend. This is a move away from unicorn hunting, to unicorn farming. Extensive, free-range farming.
The art of self-marketing
Mr. Pink talks about how to present yourself online, as discussed in a previous post. However, he goes one step further. He recommends ‘better than reality’ pictures. This could mean different things to different people. Before you break out the photoshop….
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